Grandma Rosie

This evening, my dad called to tell me that my grandma, his mom, had died today. She would have been 94 in July. Just last week she had gone into the hospital and was not doing well. She had started to recover and everyone had reason to believe she would pull through it. In fact, she was being released to go home (with care, as she would have to remain on oxygen). Dad had returned home from Richmond. George and I had made plans to take the children up this Saturday to visit her. We thought it would be better to do so after she was settled back home, or at least not in the hospital. So we were making the last-minute plans for our trip today, and then we heard from my dad. I feel so bad because we have not seen her in months. We had hoped to see her over Christmas break, but things did not work out. Skylar and Bart really wanted to visit her again, and Drake had only ever seen her once, when he was pretty small.
Grandma Rosie (or Mawmaw as I had always called her) lived a very long, full life. When it isn't quite so late, I will tell a little more about it.

Willful Children

Today was the first day of summer break. I should have known better than to hope for sleeping in. At 6:30 am, Bart ran into our bedroom, freaking out about a big bug that was crawling toward Drake's crib. Drake was still asleep, thank goodness. It took us several minutes to convince Bart that it was OK, to let Drake sleep, the bug would likely just crawl away. So we sent him downstairs to watch cartoons. The bug, by the way, turned out to be a small beetle. Then, after George had left for work, Skylar brought Drake in to my room and set him down on the bed. I was still half-asleep, trying to drag myself into the land of the waking, when Drake threw one of the wooden dowels he has been using as drumsticks, smacking me right in the jaw and effectively bringing to an end the slow, delicious wake-up I was trying to savor. Hello, summer.
Later, after breakfast and morning chores, we went to the pool for a couple of hours. Bart was pretty defiant most of the morning, so after a lecture, and plenty of warnings, he ended up losing a total of twenty minutes of swim time, in five minute increments. We're really having a time with him right now, although we have always had issues with his behavior. He has a behavioral consultation with the pediatrician at the end of the month. Hopefully we will be able to put a finger on exactly what his problem is.
His pediatrician has suggested that he might have ODD, which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I wasn't familiar with it, but I'm open-minded to suggestions. I don't think Bart is ADD or ADHD, but there is definitely something going on with him. He is so excellent in school and church. He is never in trouble, he always stays on tasks and excels at his studies. At home, though, he is a whole different person. I'm too tired right now to put everything into words, but let's just suffice it to say that getting him to do anything at home is a battle. It's wearying, and frankly, George and I are starting to be more negative toward him than we are positive, which is a sure sign that something has to give.
Until the consult, we're reading a really helpful book that the pediatrician suggested. It's about strong-willed children, and Bart definitely fits the bill. I can still remember the tantrums he would throw as a toddler, all because we had to tell him no. I remember putting him in time-out in his room, only to come in to find all the furniture turned over, toys scattered, bedding pulled completely off, and the diaper pail overturned. All this before he turned three. I recall the time I came into his room to find it in this state after a really bad tantrum, only Bart had overturned the diaper pail and pulled the bag of dirty diapers out of it. He had crawled headfirst inside the nasty-smelling pail and was just lying there on the floor. I think it was after this episode that I started actually coming into the room with him and holding him through the tantrums. We would sit on his bed or on the floor while he screamed and kicked and hurled his arms and tried to grab my hair, face, whatever he could reach. One time, he got hold of my earring and ripped it halfway through my ear, leaving a scar. He was like a wild thing. If I could just hold him tight through the tantrum, he would eventually settle down. But it was so frustrating and scary, I would just hold him and these hysterical little laughs would bubble up in my throat. Sometimes I would cry. A few times, he was so violent that I had to put him tummy-down on the floor and put my knee into his back to keep him down, because I couldn't keep him from flying at me in his rage.
These fits were nothing like Bart is most of the time. He is a loving, bright, outgoing, and affectionate little boy. He makes friends easily and is a favorite with his teachers. After awhile, I thought we had finally outgrown the fits, that perhaps they were just a really bad phase of the terrible twos. But now, I really think that it is something else entirely. After all, the toddler years (and I'm being reminded of this now, as my once-easy-going Drake is beginning to become stubborn and willful), are when children really start to try to exert their independence. Apparently, Bart is an extremely willful child. But I'm heartened to find out that, while it might be hard, there are parenting techniques we can use to get him to respond to our rules and requests in a more favorable way, so that we might live a more peaceful family life. It's going to mean being extremely patient, and not getting angry when we don't get the response we desire right away. We have to remember that Bart is a completely different child than Skylar, and we have to respond to him differently. His little brain processes demands and disappointments in a far different way than Skylar's does. He is apparently a creature of instant gratification. As parents, we have to help delay gratification, until he is in control of himself enough to be able to weigh consequences and think beyond the present. It's been a long, exhausting few days for us all, I think, but both George and I can see a little improvement already. I think as we keep honing our parenting approach toward him, we will be even more encouraged to continue. We just want more than anything else for him to be a happy child. But we are not willing to allow that happiness to come at the expense of everyone else's happiness in the family. We're just going to have to work hard with him and love him above all else, love his unique (and, yes, at times teeth-grinding) little personality.
The evening ended fairly well. George and I worked together to help him stay on task and out of trouble. He set the table and ate a good dinner. I even persuaded him to try some of his veggies. We rewarded the children by letting them stay up a little later, watching about half of Nancy Drew. Then we had dessert and a pretty calm bed-time. I snuggled a few minutes with Bart and Skylar while George rocked Drake. That's one thing we've decided to try and get back into doing - whichever of us is not putting Drake to bed will spend an extra few minutes snuggling with Bart, like we used to do before Drake was born and life got a lot more hectic. Even though we spend time with the children before bed, reading and saying prayers, I really think Bart especially needs this little bit of extra one-on-one affection. I think we've skimped on it a little at bedtime since the boys share a room. I have a feeling the next several months are going to be difficult, but ultimately rewarding. Wish us luck.
By the way, I can't remember if I've mentioned what name we're thinking of for the baby: Lucy Elizabeth. Lucy, because it's one that both George and I actually can agree is pretty, and Elizabeth for my sister. Skylar is in favor of Gemma, while Bart likes Jamie. Drake's suggestions have all been pretty predictable: Baby.

My Pirate Boys

Monday was the last full day of school for the year. I can hardly believe Bart's kindergarten year is over already! His teacher asked me to make cupcakes for their end of the year party. Drake and I showed up to eat lunch with him and join in at their pirate party.



We sat on the floor in the kindergarten pod and ate our lunches. Bart shared his PB&J sandwich with his little brother. It was pretty cute.



The principal had given all the children ice cream or popsicles, which they got to eat before the rest of their lunches (a big treat), so everyone was nice and sticky. There were lots of drink spills while we ate, to add to the overall stickiness. It still amazes me how messy kindergarteners are when they eat. I have this food-on-face aversion, so I don't think I would do well as a kindergarten teacher. Anyhow...



After lunch, the children cleaned up and prepared to go on their treasure hunt. They started out in the classroom with the first clue, which led them all over the school, from the library to the cafeteria to the playground, and all places in between. When we arrived back at the classroom, the little pirates received their treasure - a pirate party! There was a pile of gold necklaces and coins on each table and pirate place settings for each child, complete with a goody bag and a beach cupcake.



Even Drake participated. Amazingly, he was content to remain in his stroller the whole time, munching on candy and pretzels and goldfish. There were bubbles, candy necklaces, play dough, juice, balls - all sorts of pirate loot.



I think the cupcakes went over well. They were pretty, but a pain to ice. I was so annoyed after having to go to three different stores before I finally found little paper umbrellas, that I ended up buying a box of 144 of them - just in case I should take leave of my senses and want to make some more of them any time soon. I used graham cracker crumbs for the sand, and flavored the icing with almond extract for a little more beachy taste.
Tuesday (yesterday) was the last day of school. It was a half-day, so I came to school early to deliver some teacher gifts and to pick up the children before they got on the bus. We potted chamomile and gave them to teachers this year. Last year, we potted thyme and I made clever/cheesy little card to go along with the plants, saying something like, "It's thyme to say goodbye, but don't forget me..." Well, I couldn't think of anything clever or cheesy to go along with chamomile, so I just made little cards with what looked like chamomile flowers on them that said something like, "Have a great summer". Whatever. Anyway, it was kind of neat to be at school on the last day. Drake and I went last year, too. The children all line up in the 2nd-3rd grade pod while the graduating 5th graders parade through. Everyone claps and cheers. Then, after loading the buses, the bus drivers all drive in a circle, beeping their horns, while the kids on the bus shout and wave and the bystanders cheer, before driving off. In carpool, all the cars beep as they drive off, and some even tie balloons and streamers to their antennas. It's all very exciting for the kids.
I had wanted to do something special with the children in the evening, especially since both Skylar and Bart brought home excellent report cards. George and I decided to take them bowling after dinner. However, all three children were so naughty, that we ended up using dinnertime as a lecture on good behavior, and punishing them by not taking them bowling. We felt pretty bad since it was their last day of school for the summer, and they had done so well at school, but we are not about to let them get out of control over break. Especially not with baby number four on the way. But really, Bart was completely defiant toward George and I all afternoon, and kept making Drake scream. Even Skylar was being a little booger. She was deliberately baiting Bart to make him yell, and one time I caught her not letting him in the door from outside. And Drake chunked his full sippy cup at Bart's head (with extremely good aim). Had Bart not ducked, he probably would've been knocked out. Then, Drake proceeded to screech at the top of his lungs, apparently because we told him no, we do NOT throw things at people. In fact, he kept screeching until George covered his mouth and, looking him in the eyes, told him forcefully no screaming. Yes, it was a three-ring circus around our house yesterday. I suppose the children were just letting out all their pent-up energy, but George and I decided not to take any chances and just nip it in the bud before it got out of control.
So...my children were little terrors, but we resolved that the next day would be better.

Bridging

Saturday morning was Skylar's Bridging Ceremony for Girl Scouts. She went from Brownies to Juniors and received her Junior vest. The ceremony was held at the River Bend Country Club.






Here she is with her friend, Caitlin, and with the boys afterwards.




We proceeded to have a pretty tame Saturday, doing some cleaning and tidying before going to have dinner with our friends, the Weekes. Unfortunately, we badly needed to do yard work, but it was too hot to stay outside more than a minute or two. It was nearly a hundred degrees out.

Almost summertime

All right, so I spoke too soon. In a recent post, I mentioned the gorgeous weather we've been having. Well, I should have kept my mouth shut. For the past few days we've been hovering around 98 or so. It's really too hot to do much outside except go swimming. I'm used to the summer heat, but I usually like a little warning. Like how about a gradual warm-up? Not one day 83, the next day 98!
Friday was Moving Up Day at BDQ. Skylar and Bart got to go meet their teachers for next year. I'm not really familiar with any of their new teachers, so we'll just have to see how everything goes. Drake and I went to eat lunch with Skylar and we'll eat lunch with Bart on Monday.
I had planned on taking the children swimming when they got home that afternoon, but we had some visitors. One of our neighbors from Shoreline Drive, Betty, drove her golf cart over with her granddaughter, Brie, who is Skylar's age, to say hello. We haven't seen them since we moved in October, and we were all really glad to get together again. We really miss living next door to Betty & P.R. They were wonderful neighbors and really very nice people. Betty & Brie stayed for awhile to visit. Also, Skylar's friend from school, Trisha, came over to use our phone because she and her brother accidentally got locked out of their house (the live just down the street), and I wanted to stick around until I was sure they had been able to get inside. Around 5:30 we headed out to the pool. By this time, Bart and Drake had severely gotten on my nerves and I was frazzled and didn't even really want to take them to the pool anymore. But I didn't want to punish Skylar, so I went ahead and took them, though Bart had a five minute time-out before he could swim. The water was wonderful! It was only a little cool due to the fact that it was late afternoon, but the sun was still plenty hot. Drake had a ball, and I pretty much had to force him out of the pool and into the car. I took a few pictures with my new phone while we were there.



They're not the greatest quality, but it sure is nice to be able to take a picture without lugging the camera around.

Doughnuts With Dad

Thursday during the afternoon, the kindergarten classes celebrated Father's Day with a "Doughnuts With Dad" event. George was able to go and spend some special time with Bart. The children performed a few songs and shared refreshments with their dads. I told George to take some pictures and basically forced him to take the camera with him. This is what he came up with:



Out of the three pictures he took, this was actually the best one. The other two were so dark, you couldn't tell which kid was Bart. Sometimes it really amazes me that the man has a degree in electrical engineering. I know the important thing is that he went, and that they had a good time together.

This past week

On Tuesday, Mimi, my grandmother, came to visit for the first time since just before Christmas. On Christmas Eve, she had gotten really sick (with pneumonia) and had to stay in the hospital for 20 days. After she was released, she went to stay with my uncle and aunt in Virginia for a few months, and has just recently returned home. She lives with my mom in Middlesex. She was so glad to be home at last, and happy to see Skylar, Bart, and Drake. It was good to see her again. Long absences make you realize how much a person means to you. I worry about her because she is on oxygen, and will be for the remainder of her life. She has emphysema and really cannot breathe well.
On Wednesday, I had another ultrasound. A friend watched Drake for me while I went. The baby is growing well, a bit above average in size, and I will probably have another ultrasound as we get closer to the due date to determine the approximate size. I generally have above-average sized babies: Skylar was 7 lbs. 14 oz, Bart was 8 lbs. 11 oz, and Drake was also 8 lbs. 11 oz. I wonder how large this one will be? I hope not over 9 lbs. Both the boys were supposed to be over 9 lbs, but luckily, they were born a week early. Skylar was a day early.
Wednesday evening, we had a pizza pool party for the Young Women at church. The pool party was held at the home of a member who was nice enough to allow a gaggle of giggling teenage girls to descend on them. I think everyone enjoyed themselves. We even did a silly synchronized-swimming routine on the side of the pool. When I got home that evening, I had to bust buns to finish preparing petits fours and some other favors for a baby shower I was helping a friend throw for another friend. I was a crazy lady, pretty much. Then, Diane, my stepmom, called to let me know that my dad was in Richmond because my other grandma was in ICU. She is almost 94 years old, and her health is not good. So I was worried about her, but Diane told me not to think about coming up to see her yet. She or Dad would call with more information the next day.
Thursday was nutty. I had to make a super-quick trip to Wal-Mart. Well, while I was there, I decided to go ahead and upgrade my cell phone and extend my plan for another two years. No problem, right? It shouldn't take long. We generally do it online, but I thought I'd save some time while shopping. Ha. Ha. Ha.
We were there for maybe two hours. And they still couldn't get my new phone to work. I couldn't wait any longer. Drake was antsy, it was WAY past his bedtime, and I still had 70-something petits fours that needed little fondant stars stuck on. So, I left, ran by the AT&T store, had them switch all my data from my old SIM card to my new SIM card (because apparently Wal-Mart couldn't even do that!) and then hurried home. Well, my phone was still saying that it was inactive, and I could not make or receive any calls. By the way, it's a pretty cool phone, and I got it for free. I called AT&T customer service and the rep was thankfully able to help me out. Wal-Mart had activated the wrong SIM card. The one in my phone was NOT activated. How annoying! So finally, I was able to use the new phone. By this time I had like a million messages, and I was waiting to hear back from Dad or Diane on Ma-Ma's condition. (I call one of my grandma's Ma-Ma and the other one Mimi).
Vanessa wanted me to come over to her house early to help set up for the baby shower, which I had planned on doing anyway. After Skylar & Bart got home from school, we hurried over. All in all, the shower turned out pretty nice. Everything looked lovely, we had a good (but not huge) turnout, and the food was a success. But man, were we tired, and let me tell you, I had icing from one end of my kitchen to the next. This is Vanessa's kitchen, where we had all the food laid out.



The theme was moon and stars and sailboats (there's a lullaby goes along with it) and quite pretty. The colors were brown and pale blue. Vanessa made these adorable little cookies in the shape of moons and stars. I made the pale blue petits fours in the picture below, and she made the white ones. Mine were almond with cherry preserves and hers were lemon with blackberry preserves. They were not the easiest thing to make, but they sure look cute.











On the other table, we had buckets of crudites and dips, which were placed atop brown buoys. There was a delicious blueberry-pecan salad that Vanessa made in little paper cups lined in parchment that Skylar labored to fold by hand.

There were little watermelon sailboats with flags on the top, and a tasty margherita pizza.



skewered starfruit and blueberries and placed them in sand-filled bottles. The blueberries were so sweet, but unfortunately, the starfruit was not. I don't think it is in season, but it sure is expensive right now, $4 apiece.
I think Melissa enjoyed her shower. I hope she did! We did a few cute games and put together a couple of party favors. Vanessa had filled three glass jars of different sizes with blueberry and marshmallow-flavored jelly beans and the guests were able to guess how many were in each jar for a chance to win the jar.

Another game we played was to see who could birth their "baby" first. I had frozen small plastic babies in ice cubes and placed them in plastic cups. Each guest had to try to get the baby to unfreeze the fastest without actually taking it out and running it under hot water or eating the ice. Some people licked the ice, or blew on it, and some found interesting places to put it...Anyway, Skylar ended up being the first one to "birth" her baby.
Vanessa made little fabric bags full of rosemary sea salt and I made hurricane votive candles with sand and a blue tealight inside.

After the games, Melissa opened her gifts. And we talked...and talked...and talked some more. I got home pretty late. George had come over straight from work to take the boys. He and James took the younger kids over to Melissa's house, where her husband, Jake, was hanging out with their little daughter. There they had pizza and played video games. Skylar stayed to participate in the baby shower with me. By the time we got home, George had put the boys in bed. As much fun as it is to make and bake for a baby shower, I sure was glad to see the end of it.
Here's a picture of Melissa opening one of her gifts.

Girl Scout Camp

Last weekend was Girl Scout Camp for Skylar's Brownie troop. They were camping out Friday evening to Sunday morning. Skylar and I decided to ride up on Saturday morning with Darcy & Caitlin, a little friend of Skylar's. I was a little apprehensive about going almost an hour away without my car, but normally, I don't even need it, and it never hurts to carpool these days with gas at $4.00 a gallon. So, Darcy picked us up at 8am on Saturday, and away we went, to Chocowinity.
Skylar had been feeling a little unwell earlier that week. She had a persistent headache, and I actually kept her home from school on Friday to make sure she wasn't sick, and that we should still plan on going on the camp-out. Well, she said she was fine, and really, she seemed OK. I was apprehensive about that, too. I just really had a feeling we should sit this one out, and go camping another time, though I couldn't really put my finger on a good reason. I felt guilty and figured that with this being Skylar's first Girl Scout camp-out, and the fact that we needed to spend some mother-daughter time together, we couldn't miss it.
So, we went...and at first, everything was OK. Skylar was having fun with the other girls. They did crafts and games, and even went fishing with their own makeshift poles.



Camp Hardee is really pretty. It's right on the Pamlico River, and as we sat on the pier and tried to catch something, we could look out and see all the sailboats and speedboats go by. We even saw boats crabbing.



After awhile with no bites, the girls got bored fishing and we let them wade up to their ankles in the river. They collected shells and splashed. It's quite amazing how high some of their ankles were...some girls ended up with wet and sandy bottoms. It was also pretty hot out. It was probably about 85. It was at this time that Skylar really started complaining. At first she complained about the heat. Which, yes, it was hot, but honestly, it's been hotter. She was just really cranky and uncharacteristically whiny. I started to get a little annoyed with her.
After we headed back to the lodge where we were staying (which is actually the kitchen and dining hall), she mainly wanted to sit inside in the AC rather than play outside. She participated in the activities when it was time, but I could tell she was not happy. She ate a decent lunch, an entire hot dog, but she was still very frowny.
The girls learned about worms and received an earthworm of their own to keep in an empty baby food jar. Unfortunately, it must have been too hot for the worms, or maybe they were handled too much, because most started dying fairly quickly. Skylar and Caitlin buried their worms and erected tombstones with the help of their friend, Kelly. As you can see from the picture, Skylar is not her usual camera-happy self, and it is not due to grief over the untimely passing of her earthworm, either.



By dinnertime, she was a mess. She barely ate, complained the whole time about her back hurting, and I was sick of hearing it, frankly. I mean, I was the one who was six months pregnant with my ankles and hands swelling, for heaven's sake! Unfortunately, I finally told her I didn't want to hear another word of complaint or see another frown on her face, and did she really think I was going to send her to week-long Girl Scout Camp when she couldn't survive one day?
Well, that I thought was that, until I found her lying on her air mattress, curled into a ball, crying. Her stomach was hurting her. Bad. And she seemed to have a little fever. It didn't help that the air conditioning unit in the lodge had frozen up and it was 87 degrees inside - actually hotter than it was out-of-doors. So, we took her temperature, and gave her Tylenol and Pepto Bismol. She got to the point where she just couldn't stand it any longer, so I decided to call George to come pick us up.
Darcy offered to drive us halfway back and meet him, so we were in the process of doing that when Skylar just got hysterical with the pain. She was doubled up, crying, and she said her arms and legs were numb. So Darcy and I decided to drive her to the hospital in Washington, 3 or 4 miles away. To make a long story short, it was such a stressful experience. Skylar was miserable, but the triage nurse was able to get her to stop hyperventilating, which made the numbness in her arms and legs go away, but she still had stomach pain and a headache. When George got to the ER (he had taken Bart and Drake to James & Vanessa's), we were able to get Skylar settled down enough to where she just really wanted to go to sleep. The waiting room was PACKED. We were there probably two hours when we talked to the nurses who told us it would be another several hours before Skylar would be able to get back into a room. We just couldn't leave the boys at the Nicolaysens' for that long, especially Drake who was freaking out with us gone. Skylar seemed to be much better now, so I talked to the triage nurse. She told us as long as Skylar's fever didn't worsen, or the stomach pain increase, we could take her home and let her pediatrician check her out in the morning (gladly, her pediatrician has Sunday emergency hours). While there, some lady was yelling at the nurses about how her husband had been waiting for 6 hours and hadn't yet been seen. All the swearing on her part, and the fact that someone had been waiting there that long, hardened our resolve and we went ahead and took her home.
Skylar slept most of the way back to New Bern. We picked the boys up around 10:30 or so and dumped them all in the bed. The next day, Sunday, George stayed at home with Skylar and Drake and I took Bart to church. Skylar felt much better, but I still took her to see the pediatrician on Monday morning. The doctor said it could've been the combination of a little virus and the heat which made her so sick, or just the heat itself. At any rate, she was OK, and I sent her back to school on Tuesday. However, I did find out some information on Bart, and discussed some things with the doctor in regard to his defiance and difficulty at home. But that's an entirely separate post...
So, that was our lovely adventure at Girl Scout Camp. Quite a first experience, isn't it? I'm not sure that Skylar is quite as enthusiastic to go to the week-long summer camp now. And I'm not certain I want her to go this year!

Awards

On May 29th, Skylar was honored as one of the top 30 AR (Accelerated Reader) kids in her school. Those kids were taken out to breakfast at Golden Corral. With the AR program, kids read (age and reading level-appropriate books) and take a test on them. They earn points doing this throughout the year. Skylar ended up with 320.6 points, the 4th place reader in the entire school, which I thought was pretty awesome. Way to go, Sky! Here she is in the picture with her principal, Mr. Gatlin.



That evening, we had an awards night at BDQ. Bart and Drake filled up on cookies and punch and were way hyper. Drake must have eaten 10 cookies, but it kept him quiet to sit there and poke his finger in the icing and lick it off. It kept him quiet for about an hour. I remember the days when I swore to myself I wouldn't use sweets as an incentive for good behavior...