Weekend

Bart and Drake went to spend Friday night with George's mom and Mindy. They were so excited to go. Bart loves to play with his cousin, Mack, and Drake loves his "Aunt Minnie". It's so adorable. I didn't even have a whimper out of Drake when Tom picked the boys up. Drake happily packed his Thomas suitcase and climbed into the car before the carseat was even completely strapped in.
Of course, the boys were happy to come home tonight, too, but it makes me feel good that they enjoy going over to Mindy's so well. It's good for them to play with their cousins and it's nice for George and myself to get a little time just with the girls.
Skylar had a dance competition in Jacksonville today. She did well and had a good time. She complained about the hairspray I put in her hair and whined when I curled her eyelashes and put a little mascara on her. Honestly, you'd never know she begs me to let her wear makeup out, the fuss she puts up over it at competition time. Anyway, she enjoyed performing two numbers and horsing around with her dance friends. Her lyrical group won third place overall in their division.
It absolutely poured all day long today. Jacksonville traffic was ridiculous. It's not RTP for heaven's sake! We finally got home and enjoyed some quiet time planting vegetable and herb seeds in our little starter trays in the kitchen. The boys came home in the late afternoon and Renee ordered Papa John's for dinner.
Then I ruined our dessert. I couldn't believe it. I've made chocolate chip cookie pie a trillion times, and this one time can you believe I left out the flour? I was pretty mad because I had doubled the recipe so I wasted three whole sticks of butter.
George was a butthead and said he was too tired to stay up and watch a movie with me, so I got a little pissy and went to Wal-Mart at 9:50pm. I tried on jeans, felt bad I'd given George a hard time about being tired, and bought him a Chuck Norris folder to make up for it. Actually, I bought him a couple since they were only a quarter each. They say, "Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest", "Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed with a chain saw", "Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and he can make him drink", and "Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits".
These days George is all about this website that lists all these funny things about Chuck Norris. It's pretty humorous. I'll have to post the link later.
Anyway, it's late. I need to get to bed. But first, I have to switch over the laundry so the boys can wear pants tomorrow.

Issues

I am having major issues lately. Wednesday night, after I found out George might have an opportunity to take a job in China, I was doing some research on living in China. I first went to our church website to see about Temple locations in China. Then I did a basic search on Google for Americans in China and found a site just telling about a lady's life in China, what she ate, etc. Well, I saw some kind of advertisement on the side of the website along with other ads. It was saying to boycott Israel due to atrocities it has committed. At first it looked like one of those feed the children/help injured children ads which are hard enough to look at. Then when you scrolled down there was a picture that made me physically ill. It has taken me this long to even be able to write anything about it.
Wednesday night, I did not go to bed until after three a.m because I was so upset. I cried, I shook, and I prayed for about twenty minutes, no joke, as to why someone would do such a thing/post such a thing and why I had to see it. Honestly, if I had been at some terrorist website, maybe, but it was a site that was just a normal site. It's a site any of my children could have easily gone to. In all my years of intensive (many hours per day) internet research, I have never come across something that disturbed me so greatly.
I went to bed finally, and made George hold me while I cried. I could not sleep. The entire next day I alternated between crying and being depressed. I asked George to meet me for lunch and I took the babies to the park because I did not want to be alone. I held the kids close and I thanked my Father in Heaven that I had them.
I cannot describe the image I saw, but I will never, ever forget it as long as I live.
Thursday night, I was so distraught. I could not sleep, but I was afraid to stay up by myself. I was afraid to go on the internet. I was just heartsick. I kept thinking that what I saw had to be fake. It had to be done to scare and upset people. Well, it did. It wasn't like the pictures of the Holocaust you see, which are awful. I'm not trying to downplay the Holocaust pictures, for heaven's sake I'm not, but to me they were not as real and as in my face as this.
I just didn't understand why I had to see that, why I saw it on a normal, innocent site. And I'm afraid my kids might see something like it. They would need therapy because I'm thinking I might need it myself.
George made me take two of Bart's anxiety/sleeping pills Thursday night so I could sleep. It helped me; I was so wound up and upset, I wouldn't have been able to sleep on my own.
Last night, I went to bed when George did. It was easier, as I knew it would be, but it still will not leave me.
And even though I don't want this image in my head, I don't want to forget it, either, because it happened, and this was a real, dear little person. Because I underestimate the evil in this world. And I am frustrated because I want to do something to help.
But I sit here and I can only be humbled and grateful that my children were born in a land where they can thrive, and we are free. There are many atrocities committed in the U.S. against children, too, but a person has more control over their child's safety.
I know, and George reiterated the fact that this life is fleeting, that it's only the dress rehearsal for eternity. That what we go through here on earth is nothing compared to the blessings and the joy we can have beyond this life. I know that children who are taken from this world early are spared having to endure the trials and the things that test us every day, that they are blessed in the afterlife. I know that children are dear to the Father. I know that his pain at the suffering of his children (young and old alike) is greater than we can comprehend. But it doesn't make it easier for me to bear sometimes. I'm just human, I'm a mother, and it breaks my heart.
Today was better. I don't think I wept openly, but at times I could feel my heart speed up and my throat close up, like I was getting hysterical again. My hands shake as I type.
I decided that I needed to speak to our bishop about this for a couple of reasons. First of all, I need peace on this matter. I have found a way to deal with the images in my head a little better, but I know they will always stay with me. I think I can deal with that, but I need to be at peace in my heart. And I need to know if there is anything a person like me can do to help.
George is sympathetic, but he thinks I'm overreacting a little. He didn't see what I saw. He can't understand, and there is no way I'm going to let him see. He's a bigger weenie than I am when it comes to queasy things. But it's true that sad things concerning children don't strike him quite as hard as they do me. This is only natural. I'm a mom and my every waking moment (and a lot of sleeping ones, too) is devoted to my children.
I'm not sure why all this happened. That first night I felt like I was going off the deep end. I felt like I was a witness to a child's death, and it was almost unreal to me. I was only able to start functioning well when I put it more into perspective with my sister's death. Being there at her side in the hospital was hard beyond belief. And I knew her. Thinking of it in this way, I have been able to get a handle on myself. But my heart still hurts and I am just not the same person.
Sometimes I feel like the experiences in my life are leading me toward something I can't understand yet. Or maybe I'm just not getting it - sometimes I can be slow to catch on to stuff that's right in front of my face. Or maybe I'm just too selfish, working toward my own goals, rather than doing what I'm meant to do. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I don't do well with subtle hints, or gentle nudges in the right direction. It takes a shout, or a shove.
Well, I guess I was shouted at. Possibly shoved pretty hard, too. But what do I do with it? What do I do now? I have known for several years that working toward helping children is probably what I'm meant to do. But to what extent and in what capacity, I don't know.
On the advice of my last bishop, I have pondered these things in my heart - like Mary - over the past few years. I'm not sure if I'm any closer to a real answer yet or not, but I have been pondering.
I do know one thing, though. I don't know if my emotional state can handle another shout out.
I know this is a bizarre post, but this has been a bizarre week for me. I feel emotionally drained and basically just weirded out. I feel sad and sick. I might need a vacation, but I think I would just feel guilty and not be able to enjoy it. Hopefully, I will be able to get some peace and find some answers soon.

Sick

I read this article today and it broke my heart. Why, why, why would another human being support such a thing? I am sick to my soul by this and all the corruption that disregards innocent human lives.
I WILL NEVER, EVER, support a person that condones infanticide - I don't care if he is the President of the United States. It's sick, and it's cold-blooded murder.

How do you sleep at night when you know this is going on?

Here's the article link:

http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=NzRhZTgzNmRlZWE0MTA1YTM4NWMxN2UxMjA5YjBkZTE=

Bart

Friday was crazy. Skylar went to a dance class sleepover. I took her while George stayed with the rest of the kids. He and Bart played some Wii and messed around while I was gone. Sky, Lucy, and I had to run to Walmart to pick up a couple of things before going over to the sleepover, including a quick McDonalds' dinner. So it took me about two hours to get back home.
When I got home, we ate McDonalds fare, and it was pretty late by then - about seven thirty. It was definitely too late for the children to watch a movie. Bart had asked me earlier if he could watch Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith. I had told him maybe, if there was enough time. Well, there wasn't enough time, and it was apparently just too much for Bart.
He started moping around and not listening to us. I made him come with me to take Skylar some PJ's which she'd forgotten in the van. Bart didn't really want to come with me, and he would barely talk to me the entire time. I tried to get him to talk to me, to tell me what was bugging him. He was acting really depressed.
When we got out of the car, he was still being weird, and not even wanting to give me a hug or anything, so I stopped him before we went inside, to try to talk to him. He would hardly say three words to me and he had this look on his face, this look he gets when he gets in one of these moods - kind of glassy-eyed and despondent. It's really pretty scary when you can't even get your kid to look you in the eye and talk to you.
Well, I was freaked out and George got freaked out, too, after we couldn't get Bart to respond to us besides a whimpering "I don't know" when asked what was wrong. He began crying and subsided into a kind of whiny moan that he wouldn't stop doing.
I tried picking him up and holding him and trying to soothe him and get him to respond to me, but he just fought the contact and stared at me with that despondent look in his eyes, which were half-shut. The only thing we could get out of him, besides "I don't know" is "I don't think I can do anything special".
I think both George and I were thinking, "he's too young to be doing this. What are we going to do when he's a teenager if he's already shutting us out?"
When he wouldn't even let me hold him, I dissolved into tears. George took Bart outside where it was cold because he just couldn't even get Bart to LOOK at us, not to mention speak to us. They were out there for a long while, and when they came in, Bart was totally back to himself. His eyes were open and bright, he was responsive and he came right over to me to hug me and say he was sorry. I told him he didn't need to apologize, but that he had really scared us. He let me hold him and hug him. He said George had told him a funny story.
I just held him and wanted to cry so hard for my little boy. I don't know what makes him snap into that depressed, glassy-eyed person who won't even hug his mother. He's always had some emotional issues, I believe. He has mildly ODD, which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. That's Bart alright. He just cannot deal with the word no, or disappointment. When he was a toddler, it showed itself in terrible tantrums. I used to have to put him in time-out in his room. Only he would tear the room apart. He would turn over his furniture, pull all the linens from the bed, hurl his toys. It was like turning on and off a light switch with him. One time I came in to find his room trashed and the diaper pail overturned. The bag of dirty diapers had been pulled out of it and Bart was curled up inside the stinky pail head-first.
It got to the point that I had to sit with him on his bed and hold him tight to me, so he couldn't destroy the room or hit me. One time, he twisted around and got my earring and ripped it halfway through my ear. I still have the scar from that. There were also times I had to practically sit on him to keep him from going berserk.
I know now there were some things we could've done that would've helped, but back then we did the best we could. I used to be pretty proud of myself that I could come out of one of those struggles with my patience pretty much intact. I would grit my teeth sometimes, literally resisting the hysterical urge to laugh or cry. It was pretty rough.
But it got better. And then it got worse when he started school. It was like he would come home and bam! a bomb went off. Like he kept himself in check all day at school and then he just exploded when he got home. We had tantrums (no hitting or tearing up rooms, though) and tears and couldn't get him to respond to us during these times. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. Then we took Dr. Barden's advice and changed some parenting strategies to become more flexible and forgiving parents with Bart. He's a different little person from Skylar, after all, and he requires different teaching and discipline strategies.
For probably a year, the change was amazing. It was like we had never had a problem with him in the first place. Then, moodiness and depression took the place of the tantrums. Disappointment for him could result in a time-out where he whimpered and whined and cried and refused to look at us or respond to our attempts to talk to him about the problem.
We learned we should just let him go at it - get it all out of his system. Eventually, that light switch would switch back on and Bart would be our sweet little boy again. But Dr. Barden cautioned us that he doesn't really know what he's doing during these episodes, and when he finally works it all out with himself and realizes how he's behaved, it's humiliating for him. He's hard on himself, and we shouldn't make a big deal about it at all. If we let him see that we are going to be there for him no matter what, even at his worst, it will build his trust in us. He will see that we love him unconditionally, and it will build his self-esteem. Bart is indeed very hard on himself after a tantrum. He generally says, "I'm a bad boy" or "I'm naughty, I don't deserve dessert" or "Don't give my toy back, I don't deserve it." It's really hard to listen to. Particularly because he is such a sweet and loving boy. Most of the time he is extremely well-behaved at home, and he is always well-behaved at school.
Another concern of ours was that he has not been sleeping well. He is always tired, even though he had a reasonable bedtime for his age - between 7:30 pm and 8pm. Bart kept saying he couldn't sleep, that he was lying in bed awake until after midnight sometimes. As soon as Dr. Barden heard this, he asked Bart whether he was up worrying about things. Bart said that he was up worrying about bad things happening. The doctor felt that it was a good indicator that Bart has issues with anxiety, coupled with the fact that both George and I are on anti-depressants and so are many members of both our families. He explained that Bart's anxiety is exhausting him - constant adrenaline will drain you. However, Bart's anxiety was also keeping him awake at night, so he prescribed him a medication used also for high blood pressure that would help him sleep at night and help with the constant anxiety. He also gave him Prozac, since George and I both have been using it with good results. He feels that once Bart's sleeping problems improve, many of the other problems will resolve themselves. He may not have to take the medications long-term, perhaps six months to a year.
The doctor also feels that even though Bart is an excellent student, he is probably still not even living up to his full potential due to his anxiety and/or depression. He feels that once these problems are working out, Bart will prove to be even brighter than he is now. He feels that we will probably have to reiterate to Bart that he doesn't have to be perfect.
Heck, maybe I have the same issues as Bart. Sometimes I am so hard on myself.
I feel comforted that Bart (and all my kids) is getting great medical care. I really love our pediatric practice here, and I am grateful for all the help we've received. I am so happy that Bart is going to get the help he needs to calm his anxious little mind and help him achieve his full potential.

Is It Spring Yet?

I know the Groundhog saw his shadow and all that and we should be having six more weeks of winter. But I'm getting kind of tired of the cold weather. I generally love winter and prefer cool weather, but these last two winters have really been a pain. In December, lying around in sweats and warm socks is cozy and adorable, even. By February, it's just old and gross. I want my energy and will to get up and go back. When it's cold, all I want to do is sleep and wrap up in a blanket on the couch and watch TV and/or doze off. Consequently my house looks like wild animals have taken up residence.
Another bad thing about winters in NC is that the temperatures are so up-and-down. One day it's 65 degrees and the very next day it's 45 degrees. No joke. It's very hard to know what to send your children to school in unless you have the Weather Channel broadcast inside your head. I never know what the temperature will be like, so I always make them take a jacket and I have a "no shorts or capris past November" rule that I enforce. Skylar really tries to get by me on that one, and sometimes it's legitimately warm enough for shorts in winter around here, but I have to put my foot down. If I didn't, I would never be able to pack up out-of-season clothes and we would all have to double our dresser and closet space.
Skylar would wear shorts and a tank top and no socks or shoes every day of her life if allowed to. She should really live someplace tropical when she's an adult.
Topsy-turvy temps are bad for colds, too. Every single person in this house has been sick over the past several weeks. Bart had an ear infection; Lucy had a stomach virus on top of a sinus infection; George had fluid on the ear; Skylar had a fever and a nasty cough; I had a persistent sore throat and a slight fever and that stomach virus Lucy had. I suspect Drake may have had a little sinus infection, too, like Lucy, but he seems to be (possibly) getting better, though he still has a yucky cough.
Uggh.
Speaking of yucky, today at lunch, Drake called me a "yucky mom". He's been saying I'm a "mean mom" from time to time, if I happen to have to tell him "no" or reprimand him, but this one was out of the blue. I'm not sure what I did that struck him as "yucky". I guess I shouldn't take it too hard, considering it's coming from the boy who used to stick his finger in the toilet bowl and then lick it.
Now that's yucky.
Also at lunch today, Drake and I had a lightsaber duel with our soup spoons. Drake ate a ton of soup this way. We would duel for a minute, then take a break to let our lightsabers become spoons again while we ate. Then we were at it again. Drake is saying now that he wants to be a Jedi when he grows up, too, like Bart wants to be. He said he wants all of us to be Jedis, even Lucy, even our friends the Nicolaysens.
I love kids' imaginations. I can still remember the wonder and magic of my favorite TV shows and movies. There's nothing like playing dress-up and building forts with your siblings and friends. I just don't think there's anything in adulthood to compare with it.
Lightsaber spoon duels are pretty cool, too.

What the?

Possibly to negate his sweetness to me yesterday, or maybe because he's not as smart as I've given him credit for all these years, George told me today that I seemed to be eating a lot lately and he didn't want me to "let myself go".
What kind of motivation is that?
I ate almost an entire box of Caramel deLite Girl Scout cookies in retaliation.
That'll teach him....

Valentines Day

Yesterday was probably the best Valentines Day I've had in a long time, possibly ever. It started out kind of yucky...I was grumpy from Lulu staying up late. George let me sleep in as much as possible, but I still felt like someone had kicked me repeatedly.
I had picked Skylar, Bart, and Sky's friend Caitlin up from school on Friday, as it was a half-day. They played outside pretty much all afternoon since it was so nice out. They played on the trampoline and we all took a walk/bike ride when George got home. The girls put together a Star Wars scavenger hunt for Bart, and later that night, I set up a flashlight scavenger hunt for them. The two girls had to find items for a bedtime snack which were hidden outside, using only their flashlight and a list of riddles. Bart helped them find the first one - he's a clever little boy - and eventually they had all the ingredients to make air-popped popcorn with butter. Then all the older kids watched Ratatouille after Drake went to bed. He was pretty cute and called Caitlin "Cate-in".
Since George and I are trying very hard to stay on a strict budget over the next while to accomplish several goals, we knew we couldn't go out and do anything for Valentine's Day unless it was free or next to free. So we decided to ask two of our best friends over, who also weren't doing anything for Valentine's Day. They all have families across the country, so do not usually hire sitters for their kids. So we always do stuff together on holidays. Actually, some of our family was mildly offended last year when we opted to have Easter with our friends instead of family.
After taking Caitlin home, we ran to WalMart (necessary evil) to pick up items for dinner. I had planned on having our guests come early so the kids could all play outside since it had been so nice out Friday. Yeah right....It was rainy and chilly all day long, so the kids couldn't go out at all.
We ate lunch as a family and exchanged our Valentines. I had bought Dora and Diego chocolates for Drake, a heart full of candy for Bart with Darth Vader and Anakin on it, and a box of Choxie chocolate-covered cherries, strawberries, and cranberries for Skylar. Lucy had a new pair of pink socks, but I gave them to her the day before because she needed them. For George I had gotten Reese's peanut butter cups and I got a box of raspberry dark-chocolate truffles for us to share.
George had made origami hearts for Skylar and me from pink construction paper and written us both a note. Hers was sweet and funny, with a picture of her letting him suck her nose for Valentines Day (George loves noses, and he loves to suck on them - I know it's pretty weird, but basically harmless).
When I read my letter, I started out laughing, but I ended up crying because it was without a doubt the sweetest thing he'd ever written to me. It was even sweeter than those notes he'd written to me in our dating years and when we'd been separated while I was pregnant with Skylar and he was in boot camp. It was sweetest of all because after all these years and the things we've been through, it still amazes me that we have such deep feelings for one another. After the monotnous drudge of day-in and day-out and the stress of financial worries and children worries, that we can still find joy and excitement in our relationship gives me hope. He spoke about how our children would eventually move on, but it would be just the two of us forever and how he looked forward to that time and being able to work on us. I couldn't help but cry, because it is true. You'd never know it sometimes, how tough he acts, but he can be really sweet.
The children gave me a cute card from all of them that folded out really big ("We love you THIS much"), the darlings.
We hurried to finish cleaning the house, which did not go smoothly. The children had taken the broom outside yesterday to sweep the leaves off the trampoline. I had asked them several times to remember to bring it in. Well, they didn't, and it got soaked and I couldn't sweep until it dried. And our vacuum broke. It needs a new belt and another part (can't remember what), which we have to either order online or drive to Wilmington to get. It's an Oreck. Great vacuum, though. I'd highly recommend it to anyone. We've had ours probably seven years now and we bought it second-hand on ebay. So I figured we'd just use the little Shark vac to vacuum up the major stuff, but lo and behold, it also broke. I am not happy with the Shark vac, by the way. We have only had it about three years or so and the shoulder strap connection broke on it maybe six months after buying it, and now we just had to pitch the entire thing in the trash.
So, somehow, George used the broom to sweep up the large particles of dropped food from the two little ones which littered the dining room floor. Anyway, I'm sure our friends didn't care, but I HATE having yucky floors.
So our friends came over around 4:30 or so and we ate. The kids were pretty hungry. They ate a good deal and ran wild playing Jedis and knights and heaven only knows what else. The adults played Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, and the Force Unleashed on Wii. It was a good time.
Even though it wasn't your typical Valentines Day, it was a lot of fun.
Lucy even went to bed pretty early so George and I were able to spend some time together in the evening. However, she must have decided that since she went to bed early, she was going to wake up about five times during the night and then get up for good at 6:30 am.
We're all pretty exhausted today, but you can't win 'em all.

Awesome thermometer

We have been long overdue on a getting a new thermometer for the kids. We have used the one we received at one of Skylar's baby showers (over ten years ago) to death. It's just not working reliably any longer. It was one of those ear thermometers that were fairly new-fangled and pricey back then.
Well, I did some research last year and have been wanting to get the Mobi thermometer. Until a few months ago, it was not available in any stores in our area. Last week, when I realized Lucy had a little fever, I finally broke down and paid the thirty or so dollars for it.
It's awesome - an ear and forehead thermometer in one. And it is SO fast! But the best part has to be the voice that announces "your body temperature is 98.7 degrees fahrenheit" as well as the time. The kids absolutely love that part. They're now vying to get their temperatures taken, rather than struggling with me. Lucy and Drake love it. Lucy tries to eat it and it generally settles her down if she's fussy to hear the authoratative British voice speaking to her from the little orange and white device.
I caught Skylar and Bart trying it out on inanimate objects the other day. Skylar was trying to take the temperature of a sweet potato, which she had drawn a little face and body on. The kids were consumed with gales of laughter when they realized they couldn't fool the thermometer. It just beeped at them in a no-nonsense way and the word "NO" flashed on the digital read-out.
Smart thermometer.
What will they think of next? Not only does it take your kids' temperatures, but it entertains them as well.
Needless to say, I highly recommend the Mobi thermometer.

Check it out:
www.getmobi.com

ABC Sucks

I didn't mention in my earlier post that George and I found out tonight that ABC canceled our favorite show, Pushing Daisies. I'm furious. We finally just got DVR so I could actually watch it again. Since being in the youth program at church, I'm gone every Wednesday night and end up missing it. Then there was the writers' strike. I think that probably really hurt the show, because we didn't even know when the show was coming back on after all that mess. By the time we knew it was back on the air, we had (OK, George had) missed a bunch of episodes.
Did I mention how mad I am about it?
It makes me furious that ABC cancels really original, clever shows like Pushing Daisies, which was nominated for a bunch of awards, by the way. And yet, we're subjected to yet another season of the Bachelor. Yea. So we can all sit back and watch a gaggle of insipid, brain-dead girls flip their hair, sob, and claim "I am SO ready to be a mother!" when they can't even hold down a real relationship with a real-life guy, let alone a newly-made celebrity one with a kid in tow. I mean, come on. Is this the kind of female figure we want our little girls observing and emulating?
Let's just all get out our cell phones and text each other. OMG!!!!
Yes, I'm being a little bit of a brat. You know what, though, at some point people have to realize how ridiculous they're being. Can we be any more self-centered or superficial?
While I'm on a rant about ABC, I'm going to venture onto the subject of ABC Family - "a new kind of family". Yes that's actually their tag line. That channel is so revolting to me that I won't even let the kids watch the decent movies they occasionally play because I know the commercials for their original series will be completely inappropriate. I am so sick of seeing sex being pushed at children and adolescents. No, it is NOT okay!!!! And anyone who thinks it is needs to have his or her head examined!
What is wrong with wholesome family programming?
Heaven forbid our children are spared any ugliness. Heaven forbid they remain innocent and play with their dolls and Matchbox cars a little while longer. Heaven forbid we let them believe in magic and fairy tales! No, let's just shove a cell phone in their hand, give them a $30,000 car to drive the minute they turn 16, expose them to the "real world" - sex, drugs, alchohol - and let them watch whatever garbage they want on the TV's they all have in their bedrooms.
Yep. Our kids are happy, right? They have everything they need, right?
So we must be good parents.
Oh, and by the way, anything broadcast on a channel advertised as a "family channel" must be OK.
Ha. If ABC Family is "a new kind of family", then it's a sadly dysfunctional family I want no part of. I sincerely hope ABC execs can live with themselves, shoving sex and crap at kids in the guise of family entertainment. Yep, it's a sick world when you can go to bed at night feeling good about corrupting an entire generation of children, ABC. But then, I guess that's what pays for the nice cars, and the HD TVs, and the cell phones, and the texting, and everything else for their own kids. Why do we as parents shove all this material filler at our kids? Is it because we want them to have it "better than we did"? Or do we just think they're not capable enough to entertain themselves when it's quiet and nothing is going on?
Can't we just let them swordfight with sticks and build forts in the hedges? Can we not let them use sheets to make tents in the living room and play ball with them one-on-one in the front yard instead of pushing them onto a sports team that practices twice a week with Saturday games?
It's a vicious cycle indeed. All this stifled imagination, all this wasted creativity. Maybe that's why we keep churning out the mindless, inane reality shows. I guess it's kind of reassuring to watch the hapless idiots on TV and think to ourselves, "Wow, at least I'm not THAT pathetic!"
Think again.
I guess I got off track a little, but I think ABC and particularly their "Family" channel just sum up the whole disgusting morass of our society these days.
Vice is vice, whether you pretty it up in a dress and high heels or you serve it up straight on the PlayBoy channel. Let's be honest here. Sex sells. But I am darn well not going to give my kids the pocket money to buy it with. I don't care if their little friends are doing this and that. Their little friends can go through the rest of their lives with a poor body image, low self-esteem, drug and alchohol problems, and STDs, but at least they'll be "popular" right now. But, oh, pardon me, I believe they're calling STDs something different these days, boys and girls, so that it doesn't sound quite so disgusting (imagine that - gonorrhea sounding disgusting? - no!). I believe it's STI now, sexually transmitted infection, is it? Not disease, but infection. Yep, put herpes in a dress and heels and isn't it glamorous?
This is straight from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease's website, just FYI:

Sexually Transmitted Infections

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), once called venereal diseases, are among the most common infections in the United States today. More than 20 STIs have now been identified, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate they affect more than 19 million men and women in this country each year. The annual medical costs of STIs in the United States are estimated to be up to $14 billion.

Understanding the basic facts about STIs—the ways in which they are spread, their common symptoms, and how they can be treated—is the first step toward preventing them. Researchers supported by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases are looking for better methods to diagnose, treat, and prevent STIs, including supporting research on vaccines and topical microbicides.

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Can you imagine? "Once called venereal diseases". Who are we trying to fool here? Why not say it like it is? "Venereal disease" sounds yucky because - and this one's a shocker, folks - it is yucky.

But let's not make anyone feel bad about themselves, or heaven forbid, that it's their fault, or anything like that. (By the way I am NOT referring to people who contracted a disease like HIV through means beyond their choice or control, like blood transfusions, during birth, etc.)!!!!

And the second thing that burns me up - the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases is looking for "better methods to prevent" STIs. Hmm....now let's pour millions of dollars into that one. I appreciate the work on furthering diagnosis and treatment, but let's cut to the chase. What's the best way to prevent a sexually transmitted disease?

How about don't sleep with fifty different people.

Staggering, isn't it?

I just don't know how I keep coming up with these.

I'm all for abstinence as the best form of prevention. But I'm also for education. I'm talking about helping and guiding kids to make the right choices. We have got to give them the knowledge and the self-confidence and the support to make good choices. You can say, "Abstinence is best", but unless you help them to see why it's best, and unless you present them with a strong, living example of this ideal, it's just empty talk, or worse yet, just more rules to infringe upon their freedom.

But it's kind of hard to educate the public in basic standards of common sense, morality, and good health practices when the media just keeps shoving "wild and irresponsible unmarried sex is cool and glamorous" at us. Yeah, right. Go ask someone with gonorrhea how glamorous and cool it is. That's the reality folks.

So, now, how about we raise some responsible, well-informed kids?

Kids Again

I came down with a cold yesterday. I feel pretty wretched. I wish I could take a sick day, but I can't. Moms don't get sick days. We also don't get a government-regulated break or even a guaranteed lunch hour. Or a salary. We get paid in kisses and hugs and sticky little fingers.
The fingers have been real sticky lately, and so have the noses.
All the children have had colds, too. This morning Bart turned on the tears to convince me he and Skylar were too sick to go to school. I was too sick to care. So I told the three big kids to go down and flip through our like two hundred channels until they found Spongebob. Then I went back to bed.
We basically just laid around today and watched TV. We recently got rid of of cable and switched over to satellite instead. We get a ton more channels and DVR for the same price. Now I'm never at a loss as to what to watch. Right now I'm watching Mermaids, that movie with Cher, and Winona Ryder. We used to love that movie when I was younger. I remember one weekend my mom, my sister, and I rented Mermaids, Steel Magnolias, and another chick flick (I can't remember which one). Those are still two of my favorite movies. I like Mermaids because the two sisters remind me of me and Elsie.
Speaking of Elsie, it's been almost eight years. It seems like a million, though. It's a hard time of year. My mom's birthday was today, my grandma's is Monday and then Elsie's anniversary is Tuesday. I guess February is not a great month for celebrating.
Mom and Mimi came over yesterday and I made a cake forMom's birthday. While we were eating, two or three cop cars pulled up next door and stayed there for quite a while. I'm not sure what was going on there. Who knows with them.
I've been wanting to do some planning and writing on a new project I've been enthusiastic about, but I've been too miserable today. It's taking me forever just to type this post and it's pretty random. The only time today that I felt like writing, Lucy would not cooperate with me.
Lucy is so fascinating at this age. She wants to get everything and put it in her mouth. She's been saying "Muhmuh" when she's upset and whiny, and I can remember that's how Drake started out saying Mama. She is so smiley, still. She is the smiliest baby I've ever seen, and everyone who knows her or meets her thinks so, too. She is just irresistible. Her smile lights up a room. I've been giving her pureed baby food over the past few weeks, but she really likes to chew. She likes tiny pieces of bread that she can chew on best.
Drake was so adorable today while Lucy was taking a (brief) nap. I was lying on the sofa wrapped up in a blanket, feeling yucky. The kids and I were watching the last part of the Water Horse. Drake came and climbed up on the sofa with me and let me snuggle him - which he NEVER does these days. Just before Lucy was born, we used to snuggle upstairs in the glider before naptime and bedtime every day. Now, it's impossible to get him to snuggle with you. He'll give you plenty of kisses and hugs, but it seems like he just doesn't want to be tied down long enough to snuggle. Anyway, I was delighted that he wanted to snuggle. He kept wiggling around and giving me kisses. It was just so sweet. He hasn't been feeling real well, either, lately. He's had this same cold thing we've all had, and he's been a little whinier than usual. I had to yell at him a little earlier, so I was really happy to have some sweet time with him, to let him know how much I love him, even if I lost my temper earlier.
Lately, when he gets in trouble or I reprimand him, Drake immediately runs to me and puts his arms around my legs, saying "Awww...." And then he wants to hug me and he says "Mama pretty." In fact, if he thinks he's going to get in trouble for something, he immediately says, "Mama pretty", and he's even said "Daddy pretty" a few times, too. It's pretty cute.
I think he may have learned that charm from Bart. Bart used to say "Thank you, my darlin' " when he was two or three years old and it was the most adorable thing. Bart is being such a good helper lately. He can be a really thoughtful boy at times. I'm very proud of how well he is reading. He's going to be a great student, like Skylar, I think. I don't know if I mentioned that he earned a Terrific Kid award at school on Friday or not. He was so proud of that award, and I was proud of him for earning it.
Lately Bart's been taking a page from Drake's book and saying "Mama's pretty" if he thinks I'm displeased or that he might get in trouble. It's pretty funny.
Poor Skylar hurt her ankle at dance class on Monday. She's been hobbling around with a brace on her ankle, looking pitiful. I made her go to her ballet class today, just to sit and watch, so she wouldn't get too far behind. This is the same ankle she sprained on our trampoline just at the end of the summer two years ago. It's never gotten all its strength back. She has a competition coming up at the end of the month in which she'll be doing two dances. I really don't want her to have to miss it. She really enjoys performing, I think. Now, if we can just keep all the lessons and practice fun for her. I guess that's the real test. She says she wants to be a dance teacher, and I think she will make a pretty good one if she sticks with her dancing. She's really good with kids and she's a good teacher. Plus she's patient (except with her brothers) and loves kids.
I guess I've got some pretty good kids. I know I love them dearly. They're the only treasures I have in the world.
Well, I guess I'd better be getting off to bed now. Although it's really hot in the house. It's not even Valentines Day yet, but it's been 70 degrees over the past few days. Crazy. Unless you're used to NC weather, in which case it makes perfect sense. We pretty much only have two seasons here: Summer and Spring. I've actually been very suprised that we've had snow four times this year, and twice it actually stuck to the ground. It's all very odd, but I'm not putting up my sweaters and heavy socks just yet. It could very well be 25 degrees tomorrow.
Kind of exciting, huh?

A Good Morning

Yesterday morning started off pretty badly.
I came downstairs to find that Bart had been up for 42 minutes and still had not gotten dressed. He had only just sat down with his cereal and eaten a few bites. I got mad and yelled at him (probably not the best reaction). I had to keep yelling, too, because he started moping around and dragging his feet (literally). He looked like a sad penguin. So basically it was a vicious cycle of yelling and moping.
I would like to get up earlier, before any of the kids are up, so I can help them get ready more. However, Madam Lulu does not go to bed until midnight many nights. Basically, she nurses for about two hours without stopping. I think it's because she'll sleep seven to nine hours straight at night, so she's fueling up for her hibernation. Whatever the case, I can't get anything done I need to get done at night - such as last minute "I don't have ANY clean pants" laundry - until Lucybell goes to sleep.
So, I'm exhausted in the morning, and I don't get up until 7:15 while the big kids have been up since 6:50.
Most of the time, they do fine, but sometimes, like yesterday morning, they mess around and I have to get pushy.
I felt bad for Bart because there is definitely something bothering him these days. He just hasn't been himself lately. I'm taking him to the doctor, but not until the 25th, so we have a few more weeks to get through. I just want to make sure he isn't going to have to battle depression like the rest of his family. Things are much better with his attitude when we don't fly off the handle and yell at him, but really, really accentuate the positive. Yes, it works almost all of the time, but when you're faced with dirty looks and rude behavior, sometimes the LAST thing you want to do is look for something positive to say.
Needless to say, by the time I had settled everyone down and got us ready to go, we were running late. So I just kept on driving past school. The kids were like, "Mom, you passed school!" so I told them, "If we're going to be late for school, we may as well have a good reason."
So we drove across the river to Dunkin Donuts.
It was so worth it.
Bart's face just lit up and I felt like sometimes something bad for you can be really, really good for you.
So what we were forty-five minutes late instead of ten. Some lessons you just can't learn in school.

Lucy's Snow Day

This is what Madam Lulu did on her snow day, while the big kids were outside playing:
























A most eventful day.

Birthdays

The Friday before our snow adventure was Sky's 10th birthday. It was a big deal to me because I can hardly believe my little baby is in the double-digit birthdays now. We had a little sleepover for her, with three of her best friends, Hannah, Jamie, and Leslie-Grace. George bought her Dance Dance Revolution for Wii and I made strawberry margarita cupcakes. The girls watched Nancy Drew, did press-on nail manicures, and stayed up pretty late.
Saturday was Super Saturday, which our youth were in charge of. We had to do a nice, slightly more formal, dinner and dance. We had lights rigged up from the ceiling (George made a PVC canopy for lights) and snowflakes on the wall. We tried to do a blue-and-white theme for winter. Things got a little hairy, with trying to make enough spaghetti for 150 ravenous young people. McDonalds gave us the runaround on donating orange Hi-C drink as they'd done in the past, so we had to purchase and make pink lemonade from a mix at the last minute. It was a crazy day, but luckily, we don't have to host any other Super Saturdays this year.
Last Saturday, the 24th, Dad and Diane and Rose and Randy came over to visit us. They brought birthday presents for Sky and Bart, and little gifts for Drake and Lucy, too. Drake is having a hard time understanding why it can't be his birthday, too. Christmas really messed him up this year. He thinks whenever anyone else gets presents, he should get some, too.
We just hung out, watched Home Alone, played Dance Dance Revolution, and played with the kids. Dad and Uncle Randy went out and brought Chinese back for dinner. Skylar had told Dad she wanted to go to the Olive Garden. Bart wanted McDonalds or Waffle House.
Monday the 26th was Bart's 7th birthday. I had a little bit of a hard time with this one, too. I cannot believe Bart is already seven. My little baby boy. It seems like just yesterday he was saying "New Buwn" for New Bern. And talking our ears off about Thomas the Tank Engine. Now he's reading books on his own and talking our ears off about Star Wars.
Monday after I dropped the kids off at school, I picked up a dozen doughnuts and 50 doughnut holes at Dunkin Donuts, across the river. Drake, Lucy, and I took the doughnut holes and pretzels to Bart's class for a treat after lunch. Then we brought Bart home early. Drake and I went out to buy Bart's birthday present and pick up fried chicken from Bojangles (he had said he wanted fried chicken). I arranged the dozen doughnuts into a doughnut pyramid and put seven wavy candles on the top layer. It was pretty clever, if I do say so myself. After Skylar got home from dance class, we sang Happy Birthday to Bart and chowed down on the doughnuts. Even Lucy ate some tiny little bites.
Tuesday Mom and Mimi came to visit and watched the Little Ones while I got an hour's nap. Wow. It's amazing how happy I get over a nap these days. We ordered pizza, and Bart and I went to karate. It was great because Bart finally earned his junior yellow belt!!!!
He's been working on it forever, and he finally earned it. He doesn't have much motivation to practice, otherwise he'd probably have gotten it before now. He's pretty good and he has a lot of potential if he'd just focus. George and I told him he could get a Wii Star Wars lightsaber dueling game when he earned it. So yesterday, George and Bart picked out Star Wars the Force Unleashed for Wii.
Tonight was a video game night. When George got home, we sent the three older children outside to play for awhile. I was working on making Bart's R2D2 cake for his bowling party tomorrow. He said he wanted a bowling party for his birthday, so we're going to this cool bowling alley/mini golf/g0-kart place in Cape Carteret. We're inviting only Mack, Taylor, and Kaleb Weekes, plus parents and siblings. So there will actually be a lot of people, even though only three of Bart's friends will be coming. I really hope they'll have a good time...and I really hope this R2D2 cake I'm making turns out OK.
Wish me luck.

Superbowl

I'm up late watching Groundhog Day. Lucy woke up before I was able to get to bed and I sat up feeding her for about an hour. I think Skylar keeps waking her up by sleep-talking. It's really getting on my nerves. Now that I've started watching the movie, I want to go ahead and finish it.
Tonight we went over to Vanessa and James' for a Superbowl party. Our other good friends Jamie and Josh were there, too. The kids ran around like wild monkeys and had a great time. I ate too much food and now I feel sick. Lucy smiled a lot and refused to go to sleep. She bit me twice while I was nursing her, I think to keep herself from nodding off.
All together, we had a pretty good day.
I washed mountains of laundry last week and George folded most of it over the weekend. It works best when I wash and he folds. The week before last, when I got behind on the wash, he decided to "help me out" and wash a lot of laundry. Happily, he did not wash any of mine, just his and the kids'. Unhappily, he has no real method of washing, so nothing was really sorted and we ended up with literally fifty unmatching socks. It's going to take me the next four days to track down and unite all of them.
Still...I know I should be glad that he is willing to help me out at all. I'll take his help however I can get it - as long as he stays far, far away from my laundry.