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Friday, February 26, 2010

Randomness

Looking back my last post was all over the place. I am operating on very little sleep and I don't think I've made sense in several days.
Things are starting to get back to normal, sort of....

George had to go to Atlanta on Thursday, last minute. It was kind of nice having the kids all to myself, but it was also a little nutty.

It snowed, which was really weird. Big, fat flakes which would've made for some really nice snow if it had just been a bit colder. It was really pretty, though. I took the little two to playgroup at church.

Friday was insanity. George told me not to worry about getting a babysitter since he'd be back in time. Only he must have blacked out and not remembered he said that because late Thursday night when he called he told me he would NOT be back before 4 or 4:30pm ( I had to leave for work at 12:30). So I had no choice but to take the little two to Play Date. Only, the max they can stay there is 4 hours per day, so I had to RUN over on my dinner break and shuttle them back home so Skylar and Bart could watch them for an hour or so until George got home, after 5pm. I felt like such a crappy mom.

I've been on anti-depressants forever and found Prozac to be the best one for me. Last week, my psych put me on Adderall, too, which I am liking a lot. The other day I felt giddy for the first time in probably five years. I was reading "Yo Mama" jokes on my iPhone at like midnight and laughing my butt off. I'm not even sure they were all that funny, and George certainly didn't think so, but they sure seemed hilarious to me at the time. Also, I'm able to get up in the morning and look forward to what the day will bring, even if it's just more of the same old. I just have to find my happy balance between energetic/enthusiastic and can't-sleep-at-night-hyper.

Sometimes I wish my brain worked right. I look around and wonder how many of us there are, walking around with smiles on the outside while on the inside it's basically a constant struggle to keep it together. I wonder how other people do it who do not have the support and determination I have. It's really exhausting. I wonder how many people go undiagnosed and go their whole lives thinking that their lives suck or that they're worthless or that nobody loves them.

I don't even know why I'm babbling on about this personal issue, but I think back to how I felt before I got my medication working well for me, and I can't believe I lived or felt like I did. And I don't want other people to feel like that. I wish there was some way to help. It's really amazing how wonderful life is when your brain is functioning semi-normally and you can appreciate all your blessings.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I wrote a novel

Where, where, where do I begin? I haven't posted anything because life since Saturday has been H-E-double-chopsticks (as Bart likes to say). That's h-e-l-l if you didn't catch on.
Soooo.....
Saturday was Bart's baptism. I'm going to write about that in a separate post because I feel bad enough that the crap hit the fan on his special day.
After the baptism we visited with Dad & Diane at our place & then I had to cook up some beef stroganoff and hightail it over to Super Saturday for our Valentine dance which we were hosting. Everything was going really well. Then George calls me, acting like a complete butt about when I was going to get home. He really ticked me off because I'm not at Super Saturday just because I love hanging around at teenage dances (I mean, I really do love being around the Youth, but I can think of a thousand other things that I could be doing that are less awkward than a Youth dance). I'm there because it's my church calling & I feel bad enough that I've had to miss some past Super Saturdays due to work and the like. So I was really happy to actually be able to be there and stay for the entire time.
So George calls back, only I didn't hear it ring, so he calls James who tells me George needs me to call him. Long story short, George is kind of freaked out because Lucy's temperature is 103 even having had Motrin all day and she fell asleep on the sofa and is being weird. So I'm pretty worried & we decide I'll take her to the ER (again), so I jet home.
She had been running a fever for several days and I had taken her to see her doctor the day before. It was pretty bad because they ran a whole bunch of tests on her and found that her white blood cell count was high, which indicated some sort of infection. The doctor thought due to the levels it could be either pneumonia or a bladder infection. They did a strep test (two, actually, which really pissed Lucy off), took blood, and (ouch!!!!!!!!) put in a catheter to get a urine sample. She came back negative for everything, but the doctor still felt like he was missing something. One of the first thing he had done was listen to her lungs, but he said they sounded OK. He told us to watch her breathing and to come back ASAP if there was anything amiss. I felt pretty freaked out and went to talk to my manager, who gave me the day off to stay with Lu.
So, back to Saturday.....when I got home, Lucy was awake but very clingy and VERY hot. The fever worried me a little because we were getting 103 with the forehead thermometer. So I took her straight to the ER, not even bothering to change out of my dress and stockings from church. She wouldn't let me put her down once I got home. The only way I convinced her to leave was to tell her we would watch Spongebob in the car.
Skylar came with us to help. We got to the ER and it was PACKED. Everybody and their mama was there. We went right into triage and Lucy had to have a rectal temp taken. She was an old pro at that by this point and didn't offer up too much protest. Her temperature was 103.2. They asked us a bunch of questions, got her weight, the usual. They took her back for chest x-rays which was tricky. She did not like it at all. Then back out the the waiting room where we waited. And waited. It was apparent that Lucy was in no imminent danger, so we weren't first priority. After a little while a nurse came out and gave Lucy Tylenol to get her fever down, telling us that there weren't any beds available, but as soon as one came open, they'd get us back.
Sky fooled around with my phone and snapped a picture of us looking fabulous.

Lucy drinking some apple juice on my lap while we wait.

So we waited some more. James was kind enough to bring Skylar some McDonalds, since she hadn't eaten dinner yet. By this time, Lucy had perked up a little from the Tylenol and ate a couple of fries and drank a little juice. It was just as Skylar was starting to tuck into her dinner that the nurse came to take us back to our room. I don' t know how long we were in the waiting room, but all I can say is thank goodness for my iPhone. It kept us all occupied and kept us from going insane waiting.
The room was usual, although a bit bigger than last time we were in the ER, only a few weeks ago. We were all becoming quite the emergency room conoisseurs. The nurses were wonderful.
We went through the rigamarole of getting an IV in her (I nearly cried when they told me). She hated the last IV, but did marvelously, considering. They had to draw blood twice, what seemed like such an awful lot from such a little girl.
The absolute worst was that they had to try to get a catheter in her. This time, I had to help hold her while two nurses attempted to insert it. I felt so awful. They could not get it in, so they decided to put a urine bag on her. If you've never seen one, it's like this plastic bag with adhesive on the top. You have to stick it you-know-where so when you pee, the bag catches it...at least in theory. Lucy has had it twice by now and both times the adhesive didn't stick well enough and the urine didn't go in. This time, Lucy went poo which made the adhesive come unstuck, so we got a bag full of poo, but no urine. I know, I know TMI. But if you're reading this blog, you probably have or have had kids so it shouldn't be that big of a deal.
After a long time, the doctor ordered antibiotics. They finally arrived and the nurses got them going in Lucy's IV. A nurse brought in a reclining chair for Sky so she could get some sleep, as well as warm blankets and pillows. I lay with Lucy in the bed, holding her. She fought sleep for the longest time and kept trying to pull on her IV whenever it came into her line of sight. Mostly I just tried to keep her arm under the blanket and stroke her hair. Finally, probably about two-thirty, she fell asleep. I had been dozing, too, and thought I should get up. Even though there were rails on the bed, I had this horror of falling asleep and Lucy waking up and tumbling off the bed onto the hard floor.
So I propped Lucy's head up on my sweatshirt and wrapped her blanket around her and went to sit in the other chair for awhile. That's when the doctor came in finally, when I was half asleep and not very coherent. He told me that Lucy did have pneumonia, which surprised me, because I just knew that they were going to send us home without being able to tell us what was wrong with her.
The doctor said she was also dehydrated, which made sense because she had barely had anything to eat in two days and had drunk only a fraction of what she usually drinks.
He gave us a lot of directions, and told me what medications she was going to get. She would have to take antibiotics, alternate Tylenol and Motrin for a couple of days, and have an inhaler and mask and Zofran for nausea, in case she needed it. He said that they didn't need to admit her to the hospital, that these days they were usually able to treat pneumonia in children outpatient, which was fine with me. I couldn't imagine having to keep Lucy in the hospital any longer than we had already.
They kept her awhile longer, and I used the opportunity to text friends and family to let them know the diagnosis. I also snapped these pictures with my iPhone.


Lulu wrapped in her favorite blanket, finally fast asleep.

Skylar was out like a light. I had a hard time waking her up when it was time to go.


I think we finally got home around three-thirty. Lucy went right to bed. She was very grateful for her own bed. Skylar and I had a quick bite to eat - we were starving - and got to bed by four. Like I said, a nightmare.
Lucy slept until about 1pm the next day, thankfully. Skylar and I slept until probably noon. We were all pretty grumpy all day.
Lucy's doing much better. She's not 100% herself yet. She's still really clingy and she didn't want to go to bed the first two nights home. George and I thought she was a little traumatized from the hospital because she only wanted to lie on my lap. Sunday night she didn't go to sleep until after midnight, which meant I didn't either. The next night was a little better. I had to work, so I wasn't there for bedtime, which actually made it a little easier, I think.
Anyway, that was our lovely hospital saga. Hopefully Lucy has gotten her fill of hospitals for quite awhile.

THE END

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Bart's Baptism

Finally! We finally have a date for Bart's baptism - this Saturday at noon. He's way excited.
Today was full of good and bad.

It was good because I was off work.

Good because George & I DVR'ed a Muse concert last week. We watched it with the kids tonight. Love, love, LOVE Muse. I started listening to them last year, and I just keep loving their songs. My favorite song is Newborn.

Good because Lucy sat on my lap for the whole concert and snuggled with me.

Bad because I realized later that she had a fever.

Bad because I put my big foot in my mouth twice today & feel bad about it.

Bad because George made a mean comment about my weight tonight.

OK, I gotta end with something good -

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tonight Lucy got a tube of lipstick out of my purse and ate some of it before I found her. She looked like a clown and she was highly PO'd that we all laughed at her and snapped photos.

Last week she ate about half a tube of sparkly SoftLips lip balm. It didn't appear to cause her any harm, but I'm kind of ticked off that she keeps eating my cosmetics.

I'm just going to quarantine us for the rest of the month

I can't believe it. I'm sick again. That's what I get for thinking to myself a few weeks ago that it had been a really long time since any of us was sick. Ha! Life, you're so funny.
Honestly, I just want to get well so I can enjoy life and get my butt off the sofa. Today I got a small fever and I feel like poo.

On the bright side of things, I lost 7 pounds last week with the stomach virus. I gained 2 pounds back once I was able to eat again, but all in all not a bad deal.

Just kidding. It sucked.

Meanwhile, we keep putting off Bart's baptism due to illness or church being canceled. We are FINALLY going to have his baptism on Sunday February 21, nearly a month after his birthday. Bart told us that he didn't think he was ever going to get to be baptized. I was beginning to think we were just going to have to take him down to the Neuse and dunk him. OK, maybe not the Neuse, it's pretty gross, but you get the idea.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Yuck

Yesterday Bart got the puking virus with a vengeance in the McDonalds drive-thru. I guess it was the greasy smell of burgers that finally did it. I told him to get out of the car and go to the bushes nearby. For some weird reason he ran across the parking lot, across the street, and into the Arby's parking lot (in the rain) to puke in their bushes. I dunno.
Anyway....before we picked Skylar up at dance, we had to pull over again while he puked in this deserted parking lot across from a bar. I was really nervous about that one, because I think somebody got shot in that parking lot last year.
We finally got him home where he continued to throw up all night.
And joy of joys, Lucy had actually eaten a decent dinner (chicken noodle soup) for the first time since her trip to the ER....and promptly threw it back up about an hour later. Ugggh. And Drake fell asleep on the sofa with a fever of 100.7. I am so frustrated!!
I took the kids to the doctor today & found out that Lucy has a double ear infection to go along with the nasty stomach virus she had over the weekend.
The SECOND Lucy saw the nurse leading us back to the exam room, she began to freak. And she kept freaking until the nurse left. And she started freaking again when the doctor came in. She continued to freak until Skylar went out to the waiting room and came back with lollipops. I think Lucy was so traumatized by her visit to the ER, that she could not tolerate the sight of a nurse or doctor now. (And this is the girl who sits still for finger pricks and calmly watches the nurse squeeze the blood into the little tube).
Oh, and did I mention that Monday George and I both came down with the puking thing at the exact same time? It was so very much fun. Skylar had to feed the other kids cereal for dinner in front of the TV because George and I were basically passed out on the bed praying for the vomiting to stop. It was horrible. Our entire bodies ached all night, even when we finally stopped puking, making it impossible to sleep.
So now, we're just keeping an eye on Drake to make sure he doesn't develop any other symptoms of an ear infection or stomach virus, and hoping and praying that Skylar stays well, too.
And in the midst of all this, it didn't even have the decency to properly snow here. We just got crap and ice. At least if it's going to be cold and yucky, we could get some snow, right?
I am officially DONE with winter.