Rub a Dub Dub

I couldn't resist taking pictures and video of the boys taking a bath. They had a bubble bath and decided to put on beards. They were pretty cute. They looked like little old men.

It's really hard for me to believe that Drake is approaching his second birthday. Over the past few days his vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds, particularly in the "potty talk" area. He now can say "diarrhea", "fart", and "poopy". Oh, and of course, "pee-pee". I know this is because most of these words come along with potty-training. We aren't seriously potty-training Drake yet, but he has shown a definite interest and awareness when he does go pee or poo, so we went ahead and bought him a new potty. It's a pretty nice potty, but Drake seems to view it only as a footstool for the time being. And the bowl inside is currently doubling as a hat. The potty is an item of recreation and tomfoolery at this point. However, Drake does enjoy sitting on the big potty (here is his first time on it). I know he only makes the effort so he can get an M&M for trying, which is what we did when potty-training the big two. It generally works, but only when the child is actually ready. Drake, while intrigued with the whole process, is definitely not ready to take the plunge.

On a sweeter, note, Drake said "I love you" for the first time to me just yesterday in the car. I nearly melted, it was so adorable.

House guests, vacations, and other things that stress me out

So here's where life got really hairy.
The last Sunday in June, our friend Nick, who interned at BSH and became a friend of George's before returning to NC State, came to stay a few nights with us, along with his fiancee and their adorable little toy poodle. In theory, I love having house guests, particularly the kind who aren't related to us. However, it always stresses me out. The house is never clean enough. I'm always worried about what everyone likes to eat, etc. So I totally stressed myself out, along with every other member of this household, in order to get our house in even a semblance of respectability. I know I am probably too hard on myself, but then again, I live with a man who has lots of great qualities, but tidiness is not one of them. Honestly, at times, I feel that even Drake is better at throwing away his own trash and picking up after himself. I am not really exaggerating. Both George and I come from homes where cleanliness, tidiness, and order were not real high on the priority list, so I feel that we are fighting an uphill battle most of the time. To me, it is a bigger deal than it is to George, because the house is largely my domain and responsibility, being that I am by job title, a "homemaker". So naturally, I am going to take more notice and offense if someone leaves his or her shoes or empty soda can (my pet peeves!!!) where they are not supposed to be.
I have spent a lot of time drilling into the children that as soon as they come in the door from school, or anywhere, their bookbags go straight away in a designated place, their coats get hung up, their shoes go into the hall closet, and their lunchboxes go in a certain spot. This is so that hopefully, as they get older, they will not even have to think about these things, but will just automatically do them. It is so much easier to put certain items away as soon as you come into your home rather than pile them up on the kitchen table or the sofa for someone else (ME!!!!) to put away later.
But I digress. So, Nick and Lisa spent two nights with us, and they were a lot of fun to have over. They spent literally several hours in the playroom with all of us, playing Nerf basketball and throwing balls at the children, who were delighted. Bart really enjoys Nick's attention. I was very glad that the two of them were able to visit with us.
Directly following their visit came George's and my ten-year-anniversary. Oh, we had entertained grand plans over the past several years of returning to Europe for our 10th wedding anniversary, or even of taking all the children to Disney. However, we hadn't envisioned me being heavily pregnant with our fourth child and being strapped for cash when we were dreaming our lovely dreams. So what did we do? Absolutely nothing. We had no babysitter, no time, and no real desire to go do anything we could actually afford. Plus, two days later, we would be leaving to go to a family reunion at the Outer Banks. Directly following the reunion, we would be having more house guests. Frankly, we were both exhausted and stressed out. There is nothing like a vacation for making you long for a vacation.
George's brother Alan, and his wife, Mary Kay, and their two daughters, Abby and Emily, stopped by on Thursday the 3rd to visit and rest before we all loaded up and headed to Pine Knoll Shores for the reunion. They had driven from Pennsylvania to Virginia the night before, completing the last leg of the trip that morning. We ate lunch together and headed out about 3pm. Traffic wasn't great, and it took us about an extra half-hour to get to the reunion site. The last reunion, two years ago, was also held on the island, at Trinity Center, where George's cousin, Chris, works. Chris was good enough to organize the reunion again this time, so we stayed at Trinity Center again. It's really a nice site for a reunion. The rooms are organized into pods around central common rooms which contain a TV (sans cable or satellite), plenty of chairs, a small fridge, microwave, sink, and snacks provided by the Center. Outside, a spacious raised deck connects all the rooms in a pod (I'm not sure if "pod" is the right term, but it's the best I can come up with right now). We were lucky to be very close to the pool, and only a short walk to the beach via a tunnel that takes you below the very busy main island road straight to the shoreline. All meals were included in the price we paid (not a small sum, by the way, but worth it merely for the fact that it was fairly healthy, home-cooked food, cafeteria-style, and not fast food). I got quite spoiled with our bacon, egg, fruit, and waffle breakfasts. Drake had plenty of his favorite breakfast food at hand - yogurt - and there was always a variety of cereals available at any meal for those picky eaters among us.
Mosquitoes were pretty bad. But the weather was lovely. Not too hot, just perfect for being on the beach. It was rain-free until Sunday morning after check-out, when it poured.
All the children had a blast. Drake screeched a lot, which is presently a very annoying habit of his that we are trying to break. He was extremely attached to "Dada", which made life difficult for me when George needed some away-from-Drake time. I didn't sleep much and over-exerted myself. Skylar had a good time with her cousins Leslie-Grace and Abby. Bart of course hung out with Mack, but he surprisingly made very good friends with Lily, who is George's cousin Cathy's daughter. Bart, Mack, and Lily had quite the beach adventure, looking for pirate treasure. I made the foolish mistake of remarking that a piece of wood they found on the beach looked like it came from a shipwreck. Well, from that moment on, Bart went nowhere without that blasted piece of half-rotten wood. He was absolutely certain it had come from Blackbeard's ship which had wrecked off the coast of Beaufort, and surely, if they only looked hard enough, they could uncover the lost treasure. Somehow (I suspect George) Bart was able to get his piece of pirate ship back up to our room, despite my explicit instructions that the wood was not to leave the beach. Bart was so insistent that this wood came from Blackbeard's ship that he begged me for us to take it to a museum. Surprise, surprise, but the shipwrecked wood did not end up in a museum. It is now in Bart's closet, on display with several framed pictures of his.
Sunday afternoon, all of George's siblings and his parents came over to our place to have dinner. We ordered pizza and wings and had ice cream cake.












The children (all 8 of them) piled around the dining room table and we adults ate in the kitchen. As you can see, they all have such impeccable manners!


After dinner, we went outside to take pictures on the front porch.











These are my really cute kids and my nieces and nephews.

More Kid Pics

As it turns out, the new phone I purchased (the Sony Walkman phone) takes decent digital pics. I suppose I can't say I really "purchased" it, though. I got it free when I extended my contract with AT&T. I got an excellent deal on it by going through Wal-Mart's electronics department, even though it was a nightmare to deal with them. In the end, though, it was worth it because the phone was completely free, and for my trouble, AT&T customer service generously waived the $18.00 upgrade fee they normally charge. All I paid for was a car charger. Had I gone directly through AT&T to purchase the phone, I would have paid around $70 or $80 (after rebates), in addition to the upgrade fee.
So, as a result, I am a phone-wielding, picture-taking machine these days. George always used to say that it was pointless for me to get a camera phone because I really wouldn't use the camera very much. Well, I have proved him wrong. I take it everywhere, of course, and I often don't even bother with our much larger (but still a great camera, Dad, so thanks!) full-size digital camera. Here are some more pool pictures of the children.




By the way, I'm not very picky about weeding out shots. I will gladly post three nearly identical photos, as I can't bear to exclude anything. To me, every shot that includes my three bathing beauties is excellent.
Speaking of my dad earlier, he and Diane came to visit us for awhile on June 20. They came over for lunch and left a few hours later. I had another jewelry show to do that afternoon, so unfortunately they didn't get to stay terribly long. But it was really nice to see them. The children were hyper and excited, of course.



Dad and Diane had been to Biltmore Estate recently, so they came bearing souvenirs for us all. We ate Bojangles chicken and fixings for lunch. It's always like a circus performance when we have company eat a meal with us, or at least that's how it feels to me. The children usually make a point of being on their goofiest, borderline-naughtiest behavior when we have guests at the dinner table. Is that only my children, or is it some unwritten childhood rule?

Other Summer Happenings

The week after school let out, my mom and Mimi came over to visit us on a Wednesday. It turned out to be a pretty fun day. I had to fill about sixty water balloons for a Young Women/Young Men Mutual activity later that evening. Mom and the children helped fill up the balloons and it didn't take too terribly long. Of course, we all got pretty wet in the process, but it was a perfect afternoon for it: just hot enough for the water to feel good, but not too hot. We filled a few extra water balloons so that Skylar and Bart could have a mini water balloon fight in the front yard. Most of the balloons bounced harmlessly off and busted on the ground, but they had a good time anyway.




On June 24, we attended George's department picnic. It was held at Glenburnie Park, at a picnic area overlooking the river and part of the Frisbee golf course. It was pretty scenic. I made a double batch of mac n' cheese, which George loves and apparently raves about, and everyone else seems to love, too. It's funny, because while I think it's pretty good, I don't consider it my tastiest dish. However, I get a lot of requests for the recipe or to make it for an event. There was lots of good food and ice cream bars. It was really hot out and the flies were pretty bad, which boded ill for the ice cream bars. The boys weren't deterred, however, as you can see. Drake ended up covered in chocolate.



Skylar and I had to hurry off right after we ate so that we could do a jewelry show at a friend's house. It turned out to be a good one, and I ended up getting two bookings from it: one open house and one catalog party. George kept the boys at the park to play with some of his co-workers and their children.
It's really neat to be able to do "girl stuff" and "boy stuff" with the children. It's also fun to do mommy-son and daddy-daughter activities. Right now, I'm reading the second Harry Potter to Bart and Drake while George reads the Lord of the Rings to Skylar. The surprising thing is that Drake is enjoying Harry Potter as much as Bart is. We have a little routine. After pj's and family prayer in the boys' room, George and Sky leave and turn off the light. Then Bart turns on the two torch lights under his loft bed. He and Drake open up the Thomas futon and recline on it, side by side, sometimes with a blanket over them, while I sit beside them and read. Drake even has his own word for reading Harry Potter, but it's hard to render in the English language. It's like we're in our own little room at Hogwarts, with the torch light and the cavernous feeling of being beneath the loft bed. I think the boys really get into it.
Of course, we've been doing some fun things for the entire family, too. George and the kids really like going out to the fields beside the elementary school to fly planes or drive the remote control car. Sometimes on Sunday afternoons, we'll head over there and Skylar and I will sit and watch while George flies and the boys play in the dirt.


















On this particular outing, Skylar and I got bit by several fire ants while we were trying to find a safe place to put our blanket down. The boys were mostly out in the sand, so the fire ants didn't bother them too much, but Sky and I eventually had to sit in the car and watch. Apparently, there wasn't really a "safe place" to put the blanket down in the grass. The ants were swarming that day, for some reason, and they took it out on our poor, sandaled feet. I think that's why Skylar looks so offended in the picture above. Thank goodness for Benadryl spray.

Catching up again

I think I spend my entire life "catching up". I can't believe it is halfway through July and I've been so slack with entries. All I can say is that it's been non-stop since Summer began. I truly do not feel like I have had a moment to relax at all so far. We've gone on vacation, but I almost feel more stressed out afterward. I need a vacation all to myself.
So now I will attempt to play a bit of catch up, just so I can get some really adorable pictures of the kids posted.
On my end, I've been really busy with my Charmed Moments business. In the beginning, I spent every free moment online or studying my training materials or organizing my business materials. Then I proceeded to have four shows with the last two weeks of June. Then I got all the merchandise in, almost at once, and that was an experience! Luckily, my wonderful sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law were able to help out a ton by helping me to package a lot of the jewelry when it arrived. Skylar, too, has been a blessing. She's like my cuter, more fashionable version of Vanna White when I do shows. She wants to wear all the jewelry and pass everything out and even (gasp!) clean up and pack away all my materials afterward. What would I do without her? I'm in the middle of a catalog party right now, with a party scheduled for next week, and one in August. I'm getting close to my delivery date, though, so I'm getting a little nervous about scheduling shows from here out. I'm not sure when I'll feel calm and collected enough after the baby is born to do another show, but I'm going to try really hard to jump back into it before exhaustion causes me to second-guess myself.
George has been working pretty hard. He's got a patent in the works, for which I know he's proud of. I'm proud of him. He's so smart, I hated seeing him waste his talents for so long. But, as with myself, I think he often can't see clearly which of his many talents to focus on, and so he doesn't focus on any of them. Sometimes I think it would be far easier to only have one talent, or one passion, because then you could focus everything on it, instead of being undecided and torn as George and I are. I really just want to write, but life keeps getting in the way.
As my due date gets closer and I get more uncomfortable, I'm just trying to keep life simple. I'm not doing as much housework as I would normally do. My house is always slightly untidy and the bathrooms are not always clean. I can't keep up with laundry. I've been trying to take the children to the pool as much as possible.
Skylar took a round of swim lessons and is working on her diving skills.










Bart is taking his swim lessons now. Just yesterday, he got rid of his swim pack and is working on swimming on his own. He also jumped off the diving board for the first time without any flotation device yesterday (with his instructor's supervision, of course). He really wants to get his blue band, which will allow him to go into the deep end of the pool at the YMCA, where we go swimming, and also on the water slides.









Drake, meanwhile, is exploring the excitement of jumping into the pool as recklessly as possible. I'm in constant fear of him hitting his head or jumping in before I can catch him. He learned to say "swim" this week, along with "naughty" and "apple car" (which is Bart's word for Volkswagen Beetles from his babyhood). Drake also has begun practicing his diving, too. It's really cute. He stands on the very edge of the pool, steeples his hands above his head, lowers his head, and "dives" in. I know I'm partial, but it's way cute.



Another thing we've been trying to do this summer is make it to the library in time for Story Time. We haven't succeeded yet, but when we finally do, it will be fun, I'm sure. We have actually made it to the library itself, though, and were rewarded once to see a train come down the middle of the street nearby while we were getting out of the car. You can see the reddish-colored freight cars in the background. You can imagine the boys' excitement. "Do you think that's Thomas??"

Grandma Rosie

This evening, my dad called to tell me that my grandma, his mom, had died today. She would have been 94 in July. Just last week she had gone into the hospital and was not doing well. She had started to recover and everyone had reason to believe she would pull through it. In fact, she was being released to go home (with care, as she would have to remain on oxygen). Dad had returned home from Richmond. George and I had made plans to take the children up this Saturday to visit her. We thought it would be better to do so after she was settled back home, or at least not in the hospital. So we were making the last-minute plans for our trip today, and then we heard from my dad. I feel so bad because we have not seen her in months. We had hoped to see her over Christmas break, but things did not work out. Skylar and Bart really wanted to visit her again, and Drake had only ever seen her once, when he was pretty small.
Grandma Rosie (or Mawmaw as I had always called her) lived a very long, full life. When it isn't quite so late, I will tell a little more about it.

Willful Children

Today was the first day of summer break. I should have known better than to hope for sleeping in. At 6:30 am, Bart ran into our bedroom, freaking out about a big bug that was crawling toward Drake's crib. Drake was still asleep, thank goodness. It took us several minutes to convince Bart that it was OK, to let Drake sleep, the bug would likely just crawl away. So we sent him downstairs to watch cartoons. The bug, by the way, turned out to be a small beetle. Then, after George had left for work, Skylar brought Drake in to my room and set him down on the bed. I was still half-asleep, trying to drag myself into the land of the waking, when Drake threw one of the wooden dowels he has been using as drumsticks, smacking me right in the jaw and effectively bringing to an end the slow, delicious wake-up I was trying to savor. Hello, summer.
Later, after breakfast and morning chores, we went to the pool for a couple of hours. Bart was pretty defiant most of the morning, so after a lecture, and plenty of warnings, he ended up losing a total of twenty minutes of swim time, in five minute increments. We're really having a time with him right now, although we have always had issues with his behavior. He has a behavioral consultation with the pediatrician at the end of the month. Hopefully we will be able to put a finger on exactly what his problem is.
His pediatrician has suggested that he might have ODD, which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I wasn't familiar with it, but I'm open-minded to suggestions. I don't think Bart is ADD or ADHD, but there is definitely something going on with him. He is so excellent in school and church. He is never in trouble, he always stays on tasks and excels at his studies. At home, though, he is a whole different person. I'm too tired right now to put everything into words, but let's just suffice it to say that getting him to do anything at home is a battle. It's wearying, and frankly, George and I are starting to be more negative toward him than we are positive, which is a sure sign that something has to give.
Until the consult, we're reading a really helpful book that the pediatrician suggested. It's about strong-willed children, and Bart definitely fits the bill. I can still remember the tantrums he would throw as a toddler, all because we had to tell him no. I remember putting him in time-out in his room, only to come in to find all the furniture turned over, toys scattered, bedding pulled completely off, and the diaper pail overturned. All this before he turned three. I recall the time I came into his room to find it in this state after a really bad tantrum, only Bart had overturned the diaper pail and pulled the bag of dirty diapers out of it. He had crawled headfirst inside the nasty-smelling pail and was just lying there on the floor. I think it was after this episode that I started actually coming into the room with him and holding him through the tantrums. We would sit on his bed or on the floor while he screamed and kicked and hurled his arms and tried to grab my hair, face, whatever he could reach. One time, he got hold of my earring and ripped it halfway through my ear, leaving a scar. He was like a wild thing. If I could just hold him tight through the tantrum, he would eventually settle down. But it was so frustrating and scary, I would just hold him and these hysterical little laughs would bubble up in my throat. Sometimes I would cry. A few times, he was so violent that I had to put him tummy-down on the floor and put my knee into his back to keep him down, because I couldn't keep him from flying at me in his rage.
These fits were nothing like Bart is most of the time. He is a loving, bright, outgoing, and affectionate little boy. He makes friends easily and is a favorite with his teachers. After awhile, I thought we had finally outgrown the fits, that perhaps they were just a really bad phase of the terrible twos. But now, I really think that it is something else entirely. After all, the toddler years (and I'm being reminded of this now, as my once-easy-going Drake is beginning to become stubborn and willful), are when children really start to try to exert their independence. Apparently, Bart is an extremely willful child. But I'm heartened to find out that, while it might be hard, there are parenting techniques we can use to get him to respond to our rules and requests in a more favorable way, so that we might live a more peaceful family life. It's going to mean being extremely patient, and not getting angry when we don't get the response we desire right away. We have to remember that Bart is a completely different child than Skylar, and we have to respond to him differently. His little brain processes demands and disappointments in a far different way than Skylar's does. He is apparently a creature of instant gratification. As parents, we have to help delay gratification, until he is in control of himself enough to be able to weigh consequences and think beyond the present. It's been a long, exhausting few days for us all, I think, but both George and I can see a little improvement already. I think as we keep honing our parenting approach toward him, we will be even more encouraged to continue. We just want more than anything else for him to be a happy child. But we are not willing to allow that happiness to come at the expense of everyone else's happiness in the family. We're just going to have to work hard with him and love him above all else, love his unique (and, yes, at times teeth-grinding) little personality.
The evening ended fairly well. George and I worked together to help him stay on task and out of trouble. He set the table and ate a good dinner. I even persuaded him to try some of his veggies. We rewarded the children by letting them stay up a little later, watching about half of Nancy Drew. Then we had dessert and a pretty calm bed-time. I snuggled a few minutes with Bart and Skylar while George rocked Drake. That's one thing we've decided to try and get back into doing - whichever of us is not putting Drake to bed will spend an extra few minutes snuggling with Bart, like we used to do before Drake was born and life got a lot more hectic. Even though we spend time with the children before bed, reading and saying prayers, I really think Bart especially needs this little bit of extra one-on-one affection. I think we've skimped on it a little at bedtime since the boys share a room. I have a feeling the next several months are going to be difficult, but ultimately rewarding. Wish us luck.
By the way, I can't remember if I've mentioned what name we're thinking of for the baby: Lucy Elizabeth. Lucy, because it's one that both George and I actually can agree is pretty, and Elizabeth for my sister. Skylar is in favor of Gemma, while Bart likes Jamie. Drake's suggestions have all been pretty predictable: Baby.