Lucky Girl

I get to have a root canal tomorrow. Yea, me.

I've been loopy on Tylenol with Codeine since Friday night. Sometimes I feel like my arms and legs are not attached to my body.

George put aside money in our health spending account so that I could have a root canal and crown done in January, but my tooth would not wait three weeks until we could actually afford it. So, lucky me, I get to have the root canal done tomorrow.

We had a nice but busy weekend. Saturday, we (mostly George) succeeded in cleaning out most of the garage. This was quite a feat, let me tell you. I'm actually very impressed/surprised that my husband worked so hard to get it cleaned up. He must be feeling that Santa's-list-naughty-or-nice crunch.

Renee took Bart and Mack to Jacksonville to do Christmas shopping, so Bart missed going to see the Flotilla with us Saturday evening. I was not real happy about that, but at least he had fun going to see "Bolt" at the movies and playing at Chuck E. Cheese with Nana and Mack. It was pretty chilly out, but I think the Flotilla is always worth it. There's just something quaint and cozy about downtown New Bern at Christmas. I love the atmosphere. It's all about carriage rides and boats and artwork and good food.

Sunday, after Church, Skylar had to ride with the Girl Scouts in the Trent Woods parade. New Bern's parade had been on Saturday afternoon, but we chose to skip it this year and just go to Trent Woods. It was cold and windy out. We parked near Bangert Elementary and found a place near the beginning of the parade route. One thing I love about the Trent Woods parade is that those folks know how to give out some candy! I have literally never seen so much candy and goodies thrown to parade-goers, and let me tell you, I have been in a LOT of parades in my life. At one point, the candy was literally raining down from above - I'm not even exaggerating. We got hit with Tootsie Rolls and candy canes lobbed by over-excited Cub Scouts and collected tangerines given out by Bart & Skylar's school, Ben D. Quinn. We caught a bag of golf tees and a poster of Handy Manny. Last year, Drake got a stuffed animal. We collected candy until our pockets were full and then we had to put it in the basket under the stroller. The only thing I had to put all the candy in when we got to the car was a small backpack. The candy filled the backpack to the very top. I'm telling you - it was better than Halloween.

Monday, we succeeded in finally getting our Christmas tree decorated for Family Home Evening. We'd had it up with lights and ribbons on for a few days, but due to busy schedules, it had just sat there unfinished. Of course, that's one down like four more to go. I put a smaller (six foot) tree on the upstairs balcony, two four foot trees on the front porch, and I'm contemplating putting my four foot white tree in the playroom. I recently located my box of white and blue Christmas decorations, which had gotten misplaced in the shuffle of moving,

I'm doing it again. I'm falling asleep at the keyboard. It's definitely time to get to bed....

Madame Lulu

I realized in that last post, that I just complained mostly. Well, here's some good news:

Lucy, aka Madame Lulu, rolled over today for the first time - from her tummy to her back.

I know it's because she hates being on her tummy so much, but I was excited nonetheless.

My sweet Lucy, she's getting to be such a big girl.

Bart and Drake were crazy today. Drake kept going up to Bart while he was trying to read his book for school and hitting him and saying, "Fight". Drake was trying to get Bart to go have a light saber fight with him in the playroom. When Bart managed to get him to stop hitting him, Drake turned to Skylar and tackled her head.

Honestly, I never know what that kid is going to do next. Right now, he's all about "muht". "Muht" means "milk" in Drake speak, and "Snot muht" is his favorite drink. It means "snack milk" which is what he calls chocolate milk. I can't think of a less appetizing name for something containing chocolate.

OK, I'm off to eat my "snot tuhtties" - er, chocolate cookies...

December's Off to a Bang

I'm just writing a little before I head off to bed. Today was a little hairy. I'm not really sure why, I just felt a little off all day. I've been sick since Thursday evening (Thanksgiving). I had started to get a sore throat. Then I was up at 4am on Black Friday, doing the Walmart crazy thing. Then I didn't get to bed until after midnight. Anyway, I was wiped out and ran a small fever on Saturday. I missed church on Sunday. Yesterday I felt like crap. Today, I'm starting to feel a little better.

We had a movie night scheduled at church tonight for the women. We were going to watch Mr. Kruger's Christmas in our PJ's and eat popcorn. However, by the time George got home and I unwound and we made dinner, it was just kind of late. I decided instead that I really wanted to take Skylar to see Twilight. I went a few weeks ago with a couple of friends & liked it. I felt like Sky & I could use some mommy-little girl time.

We had a great time. When Edward kisses Bella for the first time in the movie, Skylar was like, "Why can't that be me?" And I'm all like, "Patience, my dear, patience. One day, it will be." Except, no vampire, of course. I hope.

Yep. She's growing up, all right. My little baby Skylar kept whispering through the movie, "He's pretty hot!"

At least she's got good taste, right?

I was pretty surprised, though. For the last year and a half, she's been reserving her admiration for the one and only Harry Potter. I think it impressed her that the actor playing Edward also played Cedric Diggory in the 4th Harry Potter movie. Move over Daniel Radcliffe....

The movie was pretty tame (almost no swearing, no sex - only one major kissing scene, minimal blood and violence considering it's a vampire movie), but I still think I will hold off on letting her read the books. They're in no way bad books, but I think that they're still just a bit above Skylar's head as far as male-female relationships go. We haven't really had THE TALK yet, after all. Oh, she knows how babies come about, yada yada, but we haven't really sat down with her and been like, "OK, so this is how it happens..." I am not anticipating that day with any amount of happiness at all.

Tonight on the way to the movie, I had to explain to her that her former idol, Clay Aiken, is gay. Talk about uncomfortable. I really didn't want the kids at school to be the first to break that lovely little news to her. She said, "But doesn't he have a baby?" So I had to explain that one to her. Then she said, "But he isn't married, is he?" So I had to explain that one to her.

Thanks a lot, Clay.

When George called at 5:02 pm today, he was in rather (uncharacteristically) good spirits. When he told me he'd be home in half an hour, that he was still at work, and I cried, "What??", he didn't get annoyed with me or anything, but promised to hurry home.

Oh, when will I learn?

When he walked in the door, I was feeding Baby Lucy. After a few moments of cheerful small talk, he said, "So what would you do if I said I found a Wii Fit and bought it?" I just rolled my eyes and said, "So is this a hypothetical question, or did you already buy the Wii Fit and it's outside in your car?" He did his doofy grin and mumbled that it was out in the car.

I've learned by now that some things really aren't worth arguing about. Pick your battles, right? If a stupid video game makes him happy & eager to please me, fine. Whatever. He's all like, "But this is something I'm really going to use." OK, and I would REALLY use a pair of plain black Gucci pumps. I'd just like it on record that I've never gone out and spent $180 on them. I can just see George's face if I ever went out and spent nearly $200 bucks just before Christmas because I wanted to, particularly when we don't have the money to spare AT ALL.

But you see, that's what makes me so mad. I at least admit that just because it's not important to me, it is important to him. Fine. But he would NEVER, NEVER let me "waste" that much money on something he deemed unimportant. Like shoes. No way. Not a chance.

It's infuriating!!!!

And to top it all off, Wii Fit has just officially become my worst enemy.

I figured I would give George a little patience and kindness and do the fitness test. Besides, I was curious. I've always been in really good shape. Even now, with twelve extra pounds left from my last pregnancy (Lucy is 3 months old), I'm only a size 5/6. I'm trying to get back to my regular size 2/3. So, I was looking forward to finding out my BMI and my body age, or whatever it's called. Back before I got pregnant with Drake, my BMI was 13. I knew I wouldn't be anywhere close to that, but it turns out that it is 22, which is average. I know I've got a ways to go. George was labeled "obese" after his test, which he expected. He needs to lose some major weight. But his body age or whatever it's called was still only 32 years old.

So I take my test. It consists of your weight, etc. and these stupid balance and agility tests. And I totally flunk out on the agility/balance tests. I had no idea there was a time limit on this thing.

Wii Fit said my body age was 49!!!!

Are you freaking kidding me?? I'm not even labeled overweight, and George is labeled obese, and his body is supposedly like a 32 year old's and mine is like a 49 year old's? That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. I was so mad, I retook it. It gave me a different, weird agility test, which both George and I thought I did pretty well on, but stupid Wii Fit said, "Apparently agility tests aren' t your strong point" and it gave me a body age of 41. Ooh, I lost eight years. Big deal. It's still a load of crap.

There is no way I'm going to buy that George's body is in better shape than mine. I mean, he sits at a desk most of the day. I'm always up, moving, walking. I took Pilates and Kickboxing and ballet for crying out loud! I spent all last summer swimming! If I get a quiet minute to do nothing, it's while I'm sitting on the sofa, nursing Lucy - and then, my body is still burning up more calories than his!!!!

This is NOT what I needed to hear right now. I did not need a video game to tell me I am old and out of shape. I told George they had better come out with Wii Marriage Counseling next because we were going to need it.

Yeah, I'm sure he'd run right out and stand in line for that one.

So that's where I stand. I am NOT playing that dumb game with him. If I want to get in shape, it's not going to be doing video games. Does no one else realize how absurd that is? Hmm...I want to lose ten pounds, maybe if I stay in my house in front of my TV, I can do it. Running? Ha. Biking? Ha.

If I were a jerk, I'd sue Wii for emotional damage. Honestly, it was pretty shattering. I can totally see where less stable individuals might go off the deep end or commit suicide after the Wii told them they were old and out of shape and basically sucked. If I were the drinking sort, I might've tossed down a few to make myself feel better. Me, I turn to chocolate. I had two devil's food chocolate cookies to make myself feel better for being fat.

You see, I'm all about reverse psychology. I'm testing a theory that it works on fat cells. My thighs will have to get back to you on that.

Ain't technology great? As if we weren't already hard enough on ourselves. I'm telling you - keep your eyes open for Wii Therapist. I have a feeling we're going to need it.

A Hard Thing to Say

OK, I'm going to launch into something I almost never do, because of how explosive the topic is, but as I worked on some Christmas crafts tonight, I could not get this out of my mind. In fact, I should be asleep right now instead of up typing. But sometimes I just can't sleep until I work things out in my head.
I've been saying since the election that I am going to give Obama a chance, even if I don't really think he can do the things he says he can, because he asked America to do so, and I believe that everyone deserves a chance to reach their potential. I sincerely hope that he can help America climb out of this sinkhole we're in. He seems to be a loving father to his girls. But one thing really bothers me. I know that liberal politicians are for abortion and all that, but I will not agree with it. And it really, really bothers me that a man like Obama, who is such a role model, such a historic figure, should so openly condone it. In an interview I saw, he was saying that if one of his daughters should make a mistake (i.e. get pregnant), he would hope that she would not have to be burdened by the consequences of that mistake, to paraphrase. Can I support a leader who thinks like this (and trust me, I know he is not the only one, but as an upstanding, decent, loving family man with a message of peace and change, shouldn't he be different?)?
I find this whole point of view just awful. First of all, this is exactly the attitude that is raising an entire generation of children to believe that they do not have to take responsibility for their actions. Second of all, a child is never a mistake. There are always people willing, desperate, to have a child of their own, who will gladly pay for medical care for a mother and child and for adoption costs. I know this because our church has a program in place to do just this, to help everyone involved.
In high school and college, I was actually Pro-Choice. But then I realized what I was standing up for. Yes, a woman has the right to make choices for her own body, but that right doesn't begin with the decision to have an abortion or not to. It begins with the choice to have sex or not to have sex. And guess what, if you're not ready to raise a child and completely alter the course of your life, then you probably should not be having sex - or at least you'd better be pretty darn well protected. And yes, I have the right to speak out on this one. I know from experience.
While we're on the "it's my body, my choice" argument, I have to say that once you conceive, you are no longer only choosing for yourself- you're also choosing for another person. A little person who cannot choose for himself or herself. A little person whose greatest protector should be his or her mother.
Who are we to decide whether this person lives or dies? Who are we to wipe them off the face of the earth before they have even had a chance to live or be held and loved? To erase whatever they would have or might have been?
It absolutely kills me. I want to cry sometimes, and my heart freezes for a second, when I think of what my life would have been like had I made a different choice nine years ago. I have to squeeze my eyes shut and push the horrible thoughts away, but this feeling of loneliness and despair sits heavy on my heart for awhile afterward.
What would I do without my bossy little dancer, my mothering little book-worm?


How can I look at my beautiful, amazing daughter and think abortion is OK? How can I look at her and say "the world would have been better without you because I wanted to finish college first, because I wasn't ready to raise a baby yet"? What if I had made a different choice? Would the world have ever known her? Would Skylar, Bart, Drake, and Lucy ever have existed? They are the lights of my life - what would I have been without them? How do I possibly - me, a human being - have the knowledge and responsibility to make a decision so enormous that its consequences echo throughout this life and eternity?
George and I did make a choice, and I am thankful everyday that it was the right one. We had the support and love of our families, and that made all the difference.
I'm actually crying as I write this because it took a lot to make me realize the infinite importance of family and of human life. It took everything in my entire life being turned upside down - my parents splitting up, getting pregnant at eighteen, my sister dying - before I could know. We pass through experiences that change us so completely that we don't even recognize the person we were before.
And I guess I'll break my other taboo - not going off on a religious slant. But I have to say that I cannot believe that a God who loves even the smallest and most insignificant ant, and each and every blade of grass, would not value a tiny half-grown human life, too. I cannot believe that forty million little lights being snuffed out every year would not break his heart. I know, from watching my own parents grieve, that the passing of just one beloved child is more than a person can bear sometimes.


So I look at this picture here and I try to imagine what it would look like without Skylar - and then would follow Bart, Drake, and Lucy. What a lonely, lonely thought. I cannot even bear to type this, but I have to have the courage to say what I believe, even if it's hard to swallow. I can barely write this because my eyes are filled with tears.
What I'm saying is that each of us is free to make our own choices, but we will be held accountable for the consequences of those choices. Right or wrong. We have to take responsibility for what we do and realize that the choices we make for ourselves affect others - infinitely many others.
What will my grandchildren be like? Will they have curls like Skylar or red hair like Drake? Will they say "Thank you, my darlin" like Bart, or cry with a hoarse little voice like Lucy?
Each of us has a duty to correct some wrongs, stand as a better example to future generations, and to be the voice for little ones who have none yet.
What will my grandchildren be like? My great-grandchildren, even?
I don't know yet, but the point is that I will.

Sleep Walking

I realized tonight that Skylar is not the only one sleep walking lately. I was sitting on the sofa, nursing Lucy, and I had dozed off. George woke me up, and after a few minutes in which I listened to him while he prattled on about something (I can't remember what), I thought I was awake enough to reply. My contacts were really dry, so I was trying to tell him I needed to put drops in my contact lenses, but what came out was "I need to put crap in my sunglasses."
What the heck? Sunglasses?
Kind of reminds me of a time when Bart was a newborn baby. I had him sleeping in the bassinet next to my bed so I could easily reach him when he woke up to eat. Well, he woke up in the middle of the night, so I reached over, picked him up, and put him up to nurse, only he didn't stop crying. After a few seconds of groping around with my eyes still shut, trying to get him to latch on, he was still crying. Eventually I opened my eyes, discovered Bart was still in the bassinet wailing, and I had been trying to nurse a stuffed animal the whole time.
I'm telling you, people, check your dignity at the door when you become a mother.
I'm curious what other random acts of exhaustion I've committed unknowingly.
Today was one of those non-stop days I usually try to avoid. We got up, took the Big Two to school, bought trash stickers, I RACED through a shower, didn't dry my hair, and we went to meet Vanessa and Cage at Wal-Mart to check out some patterns and fabric for a church skit. Then I did drive-through lunch on the way to Skylar's Terrific Kids Assembly while Drake grabbed a 15-minute nap in the car. Then we sat through about 45 minutes of clapping and picture-taking, brought Bart and Skylar home from school, and fed Lucy. Then I made a pie and a cake (sans the baking part - I baked it at Vanessa's), and we ran over to Vanessa and James' for dinner.
Lucy had another rough evening. She's still on her nursing strike (I'm curious as to what union babies are a part of??). Anyway, after some tears, I finally coerced her into nursing, and she fell asleep by 11:00pm or so. I've been having to trick her, by getting her to suck on her binkie and then doing the old switcheroo when she's not expecting it. Most of the time it works and she eats.
Tonight, the MOMENT I laid her down in her Moses basket, even though she had been absolutely, positively out like a light, she woke up and started to fuss. George took her and rocked her back to sleep, bless him, and here I am typing past midnight again.
Don't I ever learn?

Rainy Day Reflections

Today it really does look and feel like Fall. It's in the low to mid sixties, rainy, and the leaves are swirling madly.
I love it.
Today Lucy found her feet and worked pretty hard to get them. She's been after her knees for some time now, but no luck. Maybe this foot thing will work out for her.

Here's the email I sent to friends and family with Halloween pictures of the children.

Hey guys-

Here are some Halloween pictures of the kids. We went as characters from Star Wars. Skylar was Princess Leia, Bart was Anakin Skywalker, Drake was Darth Vader, and I was Queen Amidala. Lucy was going to be an Ewok, but we didn't get any further than the furry little hat - she kind of looks like a Russian mail-order bride, though.
And George managed to escape the whole costume thing this year due to a meeting which caused him to arrive JUST in time for our church Trunk or Treat. I made the costumes, except for the Darth Vader costume. I think it was a good choice of costume for Drake since he's already on the "Dark Side" - aka the Terrible Twos.

Anyway, Happy Halloween, everyone!

Love,

Wendy

P.S. Sorry there are so many picture attachments, but I can't get everyone to stay still long enough for a group shot!

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These next two pictures were taken a couple of weekends before Halloween. We had just gotten back from the River Bend Country Club Halloween Hayride. Members' children and grandchildren and the Girl Scouts (whose leader owns the CC) loaded onto trailers full of hay and rode up and down the golf course, trick or treating at various houses. It was a perfect night to be out. In the twilight, it was magical as we passed beneath the trees along the more wooded areas of the golf course. At one point, there was even a "real" witch waiting for us beneath the shadows of this enormous old oak tree that commanded an entire portion of the green.
Bart had to wear his knight costume from last year since I was not quite finished with his new one. He never missed an opportunity to tell someone, "I'm dressed up as a knight, but I'm really going to be Anakin Skywalker. My mom hasn't finished making my costume yet."

























These pictures below were taken at the Preschool Parade the day before. The Preschool Parade is an annual event where parents bring their preschoolers, toddlers, and babies downtown in costume. Then everyone parades en masse through the streets to Union Point Park by the Rivers. Here, sponsors have set up tables with games, crafts, info, and snacks for the children. It's a lot of fun and quaint and the children really get excited. It gets you into the spirit of Halloween. Two years ago, I brought Bart and Drake, who was about Lucy's age at the time. This year we met up with some church friends. It was quite chilly out and it just FELT like Halloween!

Back to Normal?

Today I was able to leave Lucy and Drake with Mom and Mimi for about two and a half hours. I helped out at Sky and Bart's school book fair. It was kind of nice just to have to worry about myself for a little while. I love spending time with my babies, but it is priceless to get a little breathing room sometimes. One of these days (SOON!) George and I need to go on a real date. The closest thing to a date we've had is taking Lucy with us to Red Lobster. When you have four kids, a date is defined as an event where the number of children with you is less than or equal to the number of adults.
Wednesday, Drake and Lucy had doctor appointments. Lucy is now twelve pounds - she was ten pounds at one month of age. She had four shots and an oral vaccine for rotavirus. Drake got a finger prick, and he just sat there watching as the nurse prodded the blood into the little tube. He didn't cry or anything, not until a few minutes later when the nurse had left the room and Drake realized he didn't want a the bandaid on his finger. He also got the nasal spray flu vaccine. What a brilliant idea! Honestly. He didn't even whimper.
Lucy's head is a bit flat on back, from sleeping on her back. Our other three children were tummy sleepers, but Miss Lucy loves sleeping on her back with her face turned to the right - the direction of the small window in our alcove. So I turned her Moses basket around so she would have to look left to see the window. Sneaky...but the doctor told me to. Actually, she said it was probably a good idea to go ahead and get Lucy to sleep in her crib now, since she would be outgrowing the Moses basket pretty soon. But it's so easy to put her to bed in her basket. She just loves it. Everytime we try to put her down in her crib, her eyes pop open, even if she had been fast asleep only a moment before. Personally, I think Lucy likes sleeping near George and I. I also think she's grown accustomed to the sound of George's snoring. It's like a cacophany of wild pigs rooting in garbage.....Soothing....