Catching up again

I think I spend my entire life "catching up". I can't believe it is halfway through July and I've been so slack with entries. All I can say is that it's been non-stop since Summer began. I truly do not feel like I have had a moment to relax at all so far. We've gone on vacation, but I almost feel more stressed out afterward. I need a vacation all to myself.
So now I will attempt to play a bit of catch up, just so I can get some really adorable pictures of the kids posted.
On my end, I've been really busy with my Charmed Moments business. In the beginning, I spent every free moment online or studying my training materials or organizing my business materials. Then I proceeded to have four shows with the last two weeks of June. Then I got all the merchandise in, almost at once, and that was an experience! Luckily, my wonderful sisters-in-law and my mother-in-law were able to help out a ton by helping me to package a lot of the jewelry when it arrived. Skylar, too, has been a blessing. She's like my cuter, more fashionable version of Vanna White when I do shows. She wants to wear all the jewelry and pass everything out and even (gasp!) clean up and pack away all my materials afterward. What would I do without her? I'm in the middle of a catalog party right now, with a party scheduled for next week, and one in August. I'm getting close to my delivery date, though, so I'm getting a little nervous about scheduling shows from here out. I'm not sure when I'll feel calm and collected enough after the baby is born to do another show, but I'm going to try really hard to jump back into it before exhaustion causes me to second-guess myself.
George has been working pretty hard. He's got a patent in the works, for which I know he's proud of. I'm proud of him. He's so smart, I hated seeing him waste his talents for so long. But, as with myself, I think he often can't see clearly which of his many talents to focus on, and so he doesn't focus on any of them. Sometimes I think it would be far easier to only have one talent, or one passion, because then you could focus everything on it, instead of being undecided and torn as George and I are. I really just want to write, but life keeps getting in the way.
As my due date gets closer and I get more uncomfortable, I'm just trying to keep life simple. I'm not doing as much housework as I would normally do. My house is always slightly untidy and the bathrooms are not always clean. I can't keep up with laundry. I've been trying to take the children to the pool as much as possible.
Skylar took a round of swim lessons and is working on her diving skills.










Bart is taking his swim lessons now. Just yesterday, he got rid of his swim pack and is working on swimming on his own. He also jumped off the diving board for the first time without any flotation device yesterday (with his instructor's supervision, of course). He really wants to get his blue band, which will allow him to go into the deep end of the pool at the YMCA, where we go swimming, and also on the water slides.









Drake, meanwhile, is exploring the excitement of jumping into the pool as recklessly as possible. I'm in constant fear of him hitting his head or jumping in before I can catch him. He learned to say "swim" this week, along with "naughty" and "apple car" (which is Bart's word for Volkswagen Beetles from his babyhood). Drake also has begun practicing his diving, too. It's really cute. He stands on the very edge of the pool, steeples his hands above his head, lowers his head, and "dives" in. I know I'm partial, but it's way cute.



Another thing we've been trying to do this summer is make it to the library in time for Story Time. We haven't succeeded yet, but when we finally do, it will be fun, I'm sure. We have actually made it to the library itself, though, and were rewarded once to see a train come down the middle of the street nearby while we were getting out of the car. You can see the reddish-colored freight cars in the background. You can imagine the boys' excitement. "Do you think that's Thomas??"

Grandma Rosie

This evening, my dad called to tell me that my grandma, his mom, had died today. She would have been 94 in July. Just last week she had gone into the hospital and was not doing well. She had started to recover and everyone had reason to believe she would pull through it. In fact, she was being released to go home (with care, as she would have to remain on oxygen). Dad had returned home from Richmond. George and I had made plans to take the children up this Saturday to visit her. We thought it would be better to do so after she was settled back home, or at least not in the hospital. So we were making the last-minute plans for our trip today, and then we heard from my dad. I feel so bad because we have not seen her in months. We had hoped to see her over Christmas break, but things did not work out. Skylar and Bart really wanted to visit her again, and Drake had only ever seen her once, when he was pretty small.
Grandma Rosie (or Mawmaw as I had always called her) lived a very long, full life. When it isn't quite so late, I will tell a little more about it.

Willful Children

Today was the first day of summer break. I should have known better than to hope for sleeping in. At 6:30 am, Bart ran into our bedroom, freaking out about a big bug that was crawling toward Drake's crib. Drake was still asleep, thank goodness. It took us several minutes to convince Bart that it was OK, to let Drake sleep, the bug would likely just crawl away. So we sent him downstairs to watch cartoons. The bug, by the way, turned out to be a small beetle. Then, after George had left for work, Skylar brought Drake in to my room and set him down on the bed. I was still half-asleep, trying to drag myself into the land of the waking, when Drake threw one of the wooden dowels he has been using as drumsticks, smacking me right in the jaw and effectively bringing to an end the slow, delicious wake-up I was trying to savor. Hello, summer.
Later, after breakfast and morning chores, we went to the pool for a couple of hours. Bart was pretty defiant most of the morning, so after a lecture, and plenty of warnings, he ended up losing a total of twenty minutes of swim time, in five minute increments. We're really having a time with him right now, although we have always had issues with his behavior. He has a behavioral consultation with the pediatrician at the end of the month. Hopefully we will be able to put a finger on exactly what his problem is.
His pediatrician has suggested that he might have ODD, which is Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I wasn't familiar with it, but I'm open-minded to suggestions. I don't think Bart is ADD or ADHD, but there is definitely something going on with him. He is so excellent in school and church. He is never in trouble, he always stays on tasks and excels at his studies. At home, though, he is a whole different person. I'm too tired right now to put everything into words, but let's just suffice it to say that getting him to do anything at home is a battle. It's wearying, and frankly, George and I are starting to be more negative toward him than we are positive, which is a sure sign that something has to give.
Until the consult, we're reading a really helpful book that the pediatrician suggested. It's about strong-willed children, and Bart definitely fits the bill. I can still remember the tantrums he would throw as a toddler, all because we had to tell him no. I remember putting him in time-out in his room, only to come in to find all the furniture turned over, toys scattered, bedding pulled completely off, and the diaper pail overturned. All this before he turned three. I recall the time I came into his room to find it in this state after a really bad tantrum, only Bart had overturned the diaper pail and pulled the bag of dirty diapers out of it. He had crawled headfirst inside the nasty-smelling pail and was just lying there on the floor. I think it was after this episode that I started actually coming into the room with him and holding him through the tantrums. We would sit on his bed or on the floor while he screamed and kicked and hurled his arms and tried to grab my hair, face, whatever he could reach. One time, he got hold of my earring and ripped it halfway through my ear, leaving a scar. He was like a wild thing. If I could just hold him tight through the tantrum, he would eventually settle down. But it was so frustrating and scary, I would just hold him and these hysterical little laughs would bubble up in my throat. Sometimes I would cry. A few times, he was so violent that I had to put him tummy-down on the floor and put my knee into his back to keep him down, because I couldn't keep him from flying at me in his rage.
These fits were nothing like Bart is most of the time. He is a loving, bright, outgoing, and affectionate little boy. He makes friends easily and is a favorite with his teachers. After awhile, I thought we had finally outgrown the fits, that perhaps they were just a really bad phase of the terrible twos. But now, I really think that it is something else entirely. After all, the toddler years (and I'm being reminded of this now, as my once-easy-going Drake is beginning to become stubborn and willful), are when children really start to try to exert their independence. Apparently, Bart is an extremely willful child. But I'm heartened to find out that, while it might be hard, there are parenting techniques we can use to get him to respond to our rules and requests in a more favorable way, so that we might live a more peaceful family life. It's going to mean being extremely patient, and not getting angry when we don't get the response we desire right away. We have to remember that Bart is a completely different child than Skylar, and we have to respond to him differently. His little brain processes demands and disappointments in a far different way than Skylar's does. He is apparently a creature of instant gratification. As parents, we have to help delay gratification, until he is in control of himself enough to be able to weigh consequences and think beyond the present. It's been a long, exhausting few days for us all, I think, but both George and I can see a little improvement already. I think as we keep honing our parenting approach toward him, we will be even more encouraged to continue. We just want more than anything else for him to be a happy child. But we are not willing to allow that happiness to come at the expense of everyone else's happiness in the family. We're just going to have to work hard with him and love him above all else, love his unique (and, yes, at times teeth-grinding) little personality.
The evening ended fairly well. George and I worked together to help him stay on task and out of trouble. He set the table and ate a good dinner. I even persuaded him to try some of his veggies. We rewarded the children by letting them stay up a little later, watching about half of Nancy Drew. Then we had dessert and a pretty calm bed-time. I snuggled a few minutes with Bart and Skylar while George rocked Drake. That's one thing we've decided to try and get back into doing - whichever of us is not putting Drake to bed will spend an extra few minutes snuggling with Bart, like we used to do before Drake was born and life got a lot more hectic. Even though we spend time with the children before bed, reading and saying prayers, I really think Bart especially needs this little bit of extra one-on-one affection. I think we've skimped on it a little at bedtime since the boys share a room. I have a feeling the next several months are going to be difficult, but ultimately rewarding. Wish us luck.
By the way, I can't remember if I've mentioned what name we're thinking of for the baby: Lucy Elizabeth. Lucy, because it's one that both George and I actually can agree is pretty, and Elizabeth for my sister. Skylar is in favor of Gemma, while Bart likes Jamie. Drake's suggestions have all been pretty predictable: Baby.

My Pirate Boys

Monday was the last full day of school for the year. I can hardly believe Bart's kindergarten year is over already! His teacher asked me to make cupcakes for their end of the year party. Drake and I showed up to eat lunch with him and join in at their pirate party.



We sat on the floor in the kindergarten pod and ate our lunches. Bart shared his PB&J sandwich with his little brother. It was pretty cute.



The principal had given all the children ice cream or popsicles, which they got to eat before the rest of their lunches (a big treat), so everyone was nice and sticky. There were lots of drink spills while we ate, to add to the overall stickiness. It still amazes me how messy kindergarteners are when they eat. I have this food-on-face aversion, so I don't think I would do well as a kindergarten teacher. Anyhow...



After lunch, the children cleaned up and prepared to go on their treasure hunt. They started out in the classroom with the first clue, which led them all over the school, from the library to the cafeteria to the playground, and all places in between. When we arrived back at the classroom, the little pirates received their treasure - a pirate party! There was a pile of gold necklaces and coins on each table and pirate place settings for each child, complete with a goody bag and a beach cupcake.



Even Drake participated. Amazingly, he was content to remain in his stroller the whole time, munching on candy and pretzels and goldfish. There were bubbles, candy necklaces, play dough, juice, balls - all sorts of pirate loot.



I think the cupcakes went over well. They were pretty, but a pain to ice. I was so annoyed after having to go to three different stores before I finally found little paper umbrellas, that I ended up buying a box of 144 of them - just in case I should take leave of my senses and want to make some more of them any time soon. I used graham cracker crumbs for the sand, and flavored the icing with almond extract for a little more beachy taste.
Tuesday (yesterday) was the last day of school. It was a half-day, so I came to school early to deliver some teacher gifts and to pick up the children before they got on the bus. We potted chamomile and gave them to teachers this year. Last year, we potted thyme and I made clever/cheesy little card to go along with the plants, saying something like, "It's thyme to say goodbye, but don't forget me..." Well, I couldn't think of anything clever or cheesy to go along with chamomile, so I just made little cards with what looked like chamomile flowers on them that said something like, "Have a great summer". Whatever. Anyway, it was kind of neat to be at school on the last day. Drake and I went last year, too. The children all line up in the 2nd-3rd grade pod while the graduating 5th graders parade through. Everyone claps and cheers. Then, after loading the buses, the bus drivers all drive in a circle, beeping their horns, while the kids on the bus shout and wave and the bystanders cheer, before driving off. In carpool, all the cars beep as they drive off, and some even tie balloons and streamers to their antennas. It's all very exciting for the kids.
I had wanted to do something special with the children in the evening, especially since both Skylar and Bart brought home excellent report cards. George and I decided to take them bowling after dinner. However, all three children were so naughty, that we ended up using dinnertime as a lecture on good behavior, and punishing them by not taking them bowling. We felt pretty bad since it was their last day of school for the summer, and they had done so well at school, but we are not about to let them get out of control over break. Especially not with baby number four on the way. But really, Bart was completely defiant toward George and I all afternoon, and kept making Drake scream. Even Skylar was being a little booger. She was deliberately baiting Bart to make him yell, and one time I caught her not letting him in the door from outside. And Drake chunked his full sippy cup at Bart's head (with extremely good aim). Had Bart not ducked, he probably would've been knocked out. Then, Drake proceeded to screech at the top of his lungs, apparently because we told him no, we do NOT throw things at people. In fact, he kept screeching until George covered his mouth and, looking him in the eyes, told him forcefully no screaming. Yes, it was a three-ring circus around our house yesterday. I suppose the children were just letting out all their pent-up energy, but George and I decided not to take any chances and just nip it in the bud before it got out of control.
So...my children were little terrors, but we resolved that the next day would be better.

Bridging

Saturday morning was Skylar's Bridging Ceremony for Girl Scouts. She went from Brownies to Juniors and received her Junior vest. The ceremony was held at the River Bend Country Club.






Here she is with her friend, Caitlin, and with the boys afterwards.




We proceeded to have a pretty tame Saturday, doing some cleaning and tidying before going to have dinner with our friends, the Weekes. Unfortunately, we badly needed to do yard work, but it was too hot to stay outside more than a minute or two. It was nearly a hundred degrees out.

Almost summertime

All right, so I spoke too soon. In a recent post, I mentioned the gorgeous weather we've been having. Well, I should have kept my mouth shut. For the past few days we've been hovering around 98 or so. It's really too hot to do much outside except go swimming. I'm used to the summer heat, but I usually like a little warning. Like how about a gradual warm-up? Not one day 83, the next day 98!
Friday was Moving Up Day at BDQ. Skylar and Bart got to go meet their teachers for next year. I'm not really familiar with any of their new teachers, so we'll just have to see how everything goes. Drake and I went to eat lunch with Skylar and we'll eat lunch with Bart on Monday.
I had planned on taking the children swimming when they got home that afternoon, but we had some visitors. One of our neighbors from Shoreline Drive, Betty, drove her golf cart over with her granddaughter, Brie, who is Skylar's age, to say hello. We haven't seen them since we moved in October, and we were all really glad to get together again. We really miss living next door to Betty & P.R. They were wonderful neighbors and really very nice people. Betty & Brie stayed for awhile to visit. Also, Skylar's friend from school, Trisha, came over to use our phone because she and her brother accidentally got locked out of their house (the live just down the street), and I wanted to stick around until I was sure they had been able to get inside. Around 5:30 we headed out to the pool. By this time, Bart and Drake had severely gotten on my nerves and I was frazzled and didn't even really want to take them to the pool anymore. But I didn't want to punish Skylar, so I went ahead and took them, though Bart had a five minute time-out before he could swim. The water was wonderful! It was only a little cool due to the fact that it was late afternoon, but the sun was still plenty hot. Drake had a ball, and I pretty much had to force him out of the pool and into the car. I took a few pictures with my new phone while we were there.



They're not the greatest quality, but it sure is nice to be able to take a picture without lugging the camera around.

Doughnuts With Dad

Thursday during the afternoon, the kindergarten classes celebrated Father's Day with a "Doughnuts With Dad" event. George was able to go and spend some special time with Bart. The children performed a few songs and shared refreshments with their dads. I told George to take some pictures and basically forced him to take the camera with him. This is what he came up with:



Out of the three pictures he took, this was actually the best one. The other two were so dark, you couldn't tell which kid was Bart. Sometimes it really amazes me that the man has a degree in electrical engineering. I know the important thing is that he went, and that they had a good time together.